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Blogs > dreamon78 > Toys in the Attic

Takiing It to The Limit  

dreamon78 63M  
92 posts
10/8/2012 7:20 pm
Takiing It to The Limit
All alone at the end of the evening
And the bright lights have faded to blue
I was thinking 'bout a woman
Who might have loved me, and I never knew

I should be perfectly content with the quietness of another evening alone. Instead my mind is thirsting for the splendor of great conversation, my body longing for the warmth of an affectionate touch, my lips aching for the tenderness of a sweet kiss. I try to distract myself with mindless activities hoping to obscure the feelings of emptiness but the gravity of my longings makes it impossible to keep my mind from wandering.

Why am I such a wallflower? I have met some really amazing women here, shared some unbelievable experiences and created some wonderfully cherished memories. Times shared that were so precious that they left a constant longing for more. Every time I log on I see so many beautiful smiles online, I get that giddy feeling when someone interesting has viewed my profile or used that silly flirt button for the electronic glance across the room. Why don’t I reach out? As a I used to be afraid of rejection but with age I have become far less sensitive to striking out. No, as I search my heart I find I’m actually more afraid of connection.

There are two lyrics in the song that haunt me.

You can spend all your time making money
You can spend all your love making time

It reminds me that as wonderfully special as those relationships were, my business responsibilities always seemed to interfere with the time I had available. I found myself torn over balancing priorities. I remember how much it hurt to create disappointment. I’ll be the first to admit my life needs more balance.

Still, I can’t help but feel that anytime I see a pretty smile, read every word of an interesting profile or find myself totally captivated by an insightful blog that I am missing an opportunity to share something really special. At times, I just immerse myself in the “what ifs” as I recall those wonderful relationships from my past and dream of what they may have become if I had more to give. At other times, I let my imagination run wild when I sense the possibility of a special chemistry as I immerse myself in a compelling profile or blog. Like so many, that distant, silent, admirer who loves to dream but will never know.

Life's a journey not a destination

Please checkout my blog dreamon78
dreamon78 63M  
1199 posts
11/7/2012 12:38 pm
    Quoting  :
Thanks so much for commenting. That is wonderful advice and I'm taking steps, albeit baby steps, to make more time for life outside the office walls.

Thank you so much for the inspiration.
Life's a journey not a destination

Please checkout my blog dreamon78


dreamon78 63M  
1199 posts
10/12/2012 3:48 pm
    Quoting playful64more:
    Seems we are in the same slow boat of longing. It's a sad empty place that seems to drift endlessly. On a recent business trip I traded flirtatious texts and conversation with someone who clearly wanted me, yet I was scared to take that step. Too afraid to have just a one or two nighter. Too afraid of everything as my mind scrambled to catch up with what my body and soul has been craving. The flirting gave me an incredible ego boost that I really needed. Yet I didn't take the chance...why? Now I am home regretting it and all of the possibilities. But, had I taken that step, and it turned out badly, would I not also be sitting here regretting that also?
    I am my own worst enemy.

    I hope you find the balance you seek. You are so very deserving of everything special life has to offer.
The older I get, the more I realize that I have far more regrets about the things I didn't do than I have about my actions. Even in the rare instance where something didn't turn out the way I hoped I'm still better for the experience, still happy it happened.

Hearts are fragile but they are also far to perishable to keep stashed away safely on a shelf.

Your are very sweet but you far more deserving than I.
Life's a journey not a destination

Please checkout my blog dreamon78


playful64more 60F
Ask me for a photo
1425 posts
10/11/2012 6:10 pm

 Seems we are in the same slow boat of longing. It's a sad empty place that seems to drift endlessly. On a recent business trip I traded flirtatious texts and conversation with someone who clearly wanted me, yet I was scared to take that step. Too afraid to have just a one or two nighter. Too afraid of everything as my mind scrambled to catch up with what my body and soul has been craving. The flirting gave me an incredible ego boost that I really needed. Yet I didn't take the chance...why? Now I am home regretting it and all of the possibilities. But, had I taken that step, and it turned out badly, would I not also be sitting here regretting that also?
I am my own worst enemy.

I hope you find the balance you seek. You are so very deserving of everything special life has to offer.
I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR MY OWN HAPPINESS!! (MY LIFE'S PHILOSOPHY)


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