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~+~ News Update from Canada!
~+~ News Update from Canada! The flood of Trump-fearing American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week. The Republican presidential campaign is prompting an exodus among left-leaning Americans who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, pay taxes, and live according to the Constitution. Canadian border residents say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, liberal arts majors, global-warming activists, and "green" energy proponents crossing their fields at night. "I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said southern Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. "He was cold, exhausted and hungry, and begged me for a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left before I even got a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?" In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. He then installed loudspeakers that blared Rush Limbaugh across the fields, but they just stuck their fingers in their ears and kept coming. Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals just south of the border, pack them into electric cars, and drive them across the border, where they are simply left to fend for themselves after the battery dies. "A lot of these people are not prepared for our rugged conditions," an Alberta border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a single bottle of Perrier water, or any gemelli with shrimp and arugula. All they had was a nice little Napa Valley cabernet and some kale chips. When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing that they fear persecution from Trump high-hairers. Rumors are circulating about plans being made to build re-education camps where liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer, study the Constitution, and find jobs that actually contribute to the economy. In recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have been disguised as senior citizens taking a bus trip to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans in blue-hair wig disguises, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior citizens about Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney to prove that they were alive in the '50s. If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we become very suspicious about their age," an official said. Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage, are buying up all the Barbara Streisand CD's, and are overloading the internet while downloading jazzercise apps to their cell phones. "I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "After all, how many art-history majors does one country need? |
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OMG this is hilarious but not to Canada and I don't blame them. No may be some people will see it the same way about the invasion we got from south of the border (Virtual Symposium Group) use Virtual Symposium Group
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11/17/2016 4:41 am |
Canada should build a Wall and have Trump pay for it.....
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. That is sooooo funny. Thanks for the laugh.
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This so funny , thanks for sharing
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That was Damn funny, thanks for the laugh
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11/17/2016 6:00 am |
This is fucking great, but that was a trick question, Lawrence Welk was the Accordion player, no?, eh?
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...im sorry, just exactly where do you think Canada lies on the political spectrum...we have more progressive women's rights to self, federally legalized same sex marriages (and no bible thumping civil servants refusing to do their job issuing marriage licences) practice multiculturalism, opened our immigration to Syrian refugees (unlike south of the border, we dont compare risk factors using candy analogies) safer streets due to better gun control, accessible medical insurance and we dont get our panties in a bunch wondering if God will smote our nation for our progressive leanings. We also tend not to mock decent in our country. And like a fair portion of the world, we are shocked not that the US leans republican, not that a person whom never held elected office won over an establishment candidate....but that out of over 300million people - this was the best your country could produce.
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This is absolutely hilarious eh. A reference to coming for our Tim Horton's coffee and Timbits would have been the icing on the cake.
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ty Pal for the reminder don't forget I live in Canada.. This is has been on the news up here as well.. They are either having a good laugh at it or not! too funny.. hugs V Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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I'm glad Trump won, now we just need to get rid of Trudeau and his merry band of leeches. They can take the communist NDP with them when they go! I'm all for freedom and hard work to get ahead, but currently we are governed by lazy bums who think money grows on trees and that they should spend it even when we don't have it. Out children are going to still be paying for the massive deficit that these current liberal and ndp governments are piling up!
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Canada should build a Wall and have Trump pay for it..... There you go That's all and none of it tragic.
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...im sorry, just exactly where do you think Canada lies on the political spectrum...we have more progressive women's rights to self, federally legalized same sex marriages (and no bible thumping civil servants refusing to do their job issuing marriage licences) practice multiculturalism, opened our immigration to Syrian refugees (unlike south of the border, we dont compare risk factors using candy analogies) safer streets due to better gun control, accessible medical insurance and we dont get our panties in a bunch wondering if God will smote our nation for our progressive leanings. We also tend not to mock decent in our country. And like a fair portion of the world, we are shocked not that the US leans republican, not that a person whom never held elected office won over an establishment candidate....but that out of over 300million people - this was the best your country could produce. There you go That's all and none of it tragic.
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Great blog today, and my opinion is the Americans should just stay here and SUCK IT UP like the rest of us. Change is something that happens all the time. I don't agree with Donald Trumps views but else can we do!!!
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I'm glad Trump won, now we just need to get rid of Trudeau and his merry band of leeches. They can take the communist NDP with them when they go! I'm all for freedom and hard work to get ahead, but currently we are governed by lazy bums who think money grows on trees and that they should spend it even when we don't have it. Out children are going to still be paying for the massive deficit that these current liberal and ndp governments are piling up! The door is always open so don't let it hit yo in the ass on your way to the US. There you go That's all and none of it tragic.
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Just to let you know that my twin brother has been banned from the site!
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11/17/2016 3:06 pm |
People are just carrying this too damned far. america grow a freaking pair, damn! "Sweet, steamy, sensuous kisses light the bright fires of passionate lust within us." scott6250
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There was a lot of rum-running across the Detroit River during Prohibition. I wonder how much I could get smuggling liberals into Canada? Gee! I might be able to retire early! Thanks for the laugh, Pal. Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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