Reset Password
If you've forgotten your password, you can enter your email address below. An email will then be sent with a link to set up a new password.
Cancel
Reset Link Sent
If the email is registered with our site, you will receive an email with instructions to reset your password. Password reset link sent to:
Check your email and enter the confirmation code:
Don't see the email?
  • Resend Confirmation Link
  • Start Over
Close
If you have any questions, please contact Customer Service
Hookup, Find Sex or Meet Someone Hot Now

Tests to ones will  

MisfitJohn138 41M
3 posts
1/12/2022 6:00 pm
Tests to ones will


This week has been incredibly heavy. Monday I absolute garbage. I would say all self inflicted, short of the line up of things I had to work on, which is a completely different level of pain and suffering this week, but I'll get to that. We all cope the way we do, just so happens some of my coping<b> skills </font></b>come at a price. The immense emotional roller coaster preceding an absolute shit show on my last two/three jobs, and I seriously just struggling to keep going. Regardless of all the reasons why, I able to hit a wall, recognize it, and just give my self some grace for hanging in there as long as I did. I'm feeling old, and I have also been doing all these motions and using these specific muscles for only a over a month. I am getting old, but I am also coming back from a fucked up back and lets face it, I will figure out how to make my body do what I need it to do. Tuesday a bit better, but not less taxing at all. By 3 pm I shot, I'm not used to working while sitting and at ground level, I'm spoiled and I felt every bit of it by the end of the day. Learned some cool lessons and as dumb as this sounds, I forget that when its January and its 0 degrees out, the floor cold. It miraculously dawned on me at the very last minutes of the day, my clothes being filthy from work I could hardly decide how to get undressed and dress and under a blanket on the couch. I shivered on the couch for two hours and crawled in bed. I slept good until midnight and then did the whole wake up every hour on the hour until four. I woke and repaired mentally for the day ahead. I attended to a matter of deep emotional discomfort this morning. Ya I don't know what to say about that. Just had a light bulb moment. Dealing with the issues at work this week, I have been burdened and pressed by feelings of inadequacy. I forget I am addressing issues that I have never dealt with. I am so quick to condemn my self, so worried about what their thinking. Well one, my boss should feel like I am applying my self and getting the job done correctly and what not. Next I just have to be in a place where I can confidently tell the customer "look this is what you got and this is what we did" Which I can, but fuck, I need to speak up when I know that I can't. Also confronted with an email of a nature that really fucks with me deep inside, i able to not respond to something that needed no response. I am also going to ask for help in how to address it. Ugh fuck my life, Nope gonna love me today, ya Ill get to that later, need to eat before I forget to.

Become a member to create a blog