Wild party?
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Posted:Jan 26, 2014 7:11 am
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2024 5:53 pm
6208 Views
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Not a good weekend when you spend it partying with Dayquil, Nyquil and Cool Touch Kleenex.
One should at least be sick on workdays.
Pretty sexy huh.
Prof
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TV Time
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Posted:Jan 22, 2014 5:17 am
Last Updated:Jan 11, 2016 6:50 pm
6684 Views
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I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There's a knob called brightness, but it doesn't work.
Prof
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What? Me? Porn?
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Posted:Jan 18, 2014 11:07 am
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2024 5:53 pm
6616 Views
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What I've Learned From Watching Porn... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 1. Women wear high heels to bed. 2. Men are never impotent. 3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory. 4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her. 5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm. 6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men. 7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob. 8. Women always orgasm when men do. 9. A blowjob will always get a woman off a speeding ticket. 10. All women are noisy fucks. 11. People in the 70s couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background. 12. Those tits are real. 13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt. 14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum. 15. If there are two of them they "high five" each other. (and the girl isn't disgusted!) 16. Double penetration makes women smile. 17. Asian men don't exist. 18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth. 19. There's a plot. 20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt. 21. Nurses suck patient's cocks. 22. Men always pull out. 23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you. 24. Women never have headaches... or periods. 25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it". 26. Assholes are clean. 27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned. 28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there. 29. Men don't have to beg. 30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip
It is on the internet, it must be true.
Prof
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Make and model
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Posted:Jan 16, 2014 5:24 am
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2024 5:53 pm
6510 Views
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Ford Escort ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ When I picked up my Ford at the service station after some minor repairs, I paid by check as usual. A couple of weeks later I came home from work to find my fiancée quite upset. She gave me the silent treatment until I figured out why she was so angry. She had noticed the canceled check, and on the memo line I had written "Service."
Hmmm, it might be worth owning this make and model to disguise the checks I wri............uhm, never mind.
Prof
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Rather like BBWMatchMate
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Posted:Jan 14, 2014 5:08 am
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2024 5:53 pm
6457 Views
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The weatherman forecast 3 more inches than we got last night. Sounds like a typical guy on BBWMatchMate?
Prof
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Well, yes. That's true.
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Posted:Jan 12, 2014 6:05 am
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2024 5:53 pm
6448 Views
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Sex is the only activity where you start at the top and work your way to the bottom, while getting a raise.
Friends are like condoms; they protect you when things get hard.
Without nipples, breasts would be pointless.
Masturbation is like procrastination, it's all good and fun until you realize you are only screwing yourself.
Prof
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Funny Creatures
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Posted:Jan 11, 2014 5:47 am
Last Updated:Jan 11, 2016 6:51 pm
6915 Views
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Wives are funny creatures .... Some wives don't want to have sex with their husbands for weeks or months on end and then they want to kill the woman who does.!?!?
Prof
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Nice Professor
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Posted:Jan 10, 2014 6:26 am
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2024 5:53 pm
6437 Views
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A professor at the University of Mississippi was giving a lecture on 'Involuntary Muscular Contractions' to his first year medical students. `` Realizing this was not the most riveting subject, the professor decided to lighten the mood slightly. `` He pointed to a young woman in the front row and asked, 'Do you know what your asshole is doing while you're having an orgasm?'
She replied, 'probably deer hunting with his buddies.'... `` It took 45 minutes to restore order in the classroom...
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Really?
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Posted:Jan 8, 2014 4:37 pm
Last Updated:Jan 8, 2014 6:15 pm
6455 Views
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If dark clothing has a slimming affect then why would any man ever wear black underwear?
Prof
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Who's Tough
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Posted:Jan 7, 2014 5:25 am
Last Updated:Mar 24, 2017 5:41 am
6179 Views
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Three cowboys were sitting around the campfire out on the range. The first cowboy starts to expound on how tough he is.
"Why I'm the toughest cow poke in the whole state. Last week in the saloon three varmints tried to cheat at poker and I thrashed them all single handed."
The second cowboys says, "That tain nothin'. Yesterday a rattler spooked my best and I jumped down grabbed that snake and bit its head off."
The third cowboy didn't say a word. He just knelt by the fire slowly stirring the glowing coals with his penis.
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Motel 6
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Posted:Nov 30, 2012 5:35 am
Last Updated:Mar 29, 2022 3:34 am
14332 Views
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New story, please take a look in the comments for the text.
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