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Conversations in the Dark
Posted:Sep 21, 2021 7:23 am
Last Updated:Sep 23, 2021 8:12 am
52 Views

A long long time ago, I had a blog on here before. It started much like this one, largely silent. I started it because there was an attractive woman who in her profile said she was here just to blog… and I wanted to attract her attention. While my first post were terrible and forced I slowly discovered the power of just having a place to let me thoughts out. There was a power in the anonymity and no one knowing me. I felt I could say anything, be anything, be myself in a way that I couldn’t in my day to day world. Eventually I got the attractive woman’s attention and we became friends, and I made more friends and suddenly I had hundreds of friends and followers and posts and with it came a feeling of expectations and eventually feeling I had to be careful with what I said and who I would offend. It even became competitive - trying to stay active and at the top of the “rankings” and the next thing I knew this place of escape became wor It had lost most of its joy and purpose. So one day, I just deleted it all and moved on. Every now and then I would pop back on for a moment. Write a few posts and disappear again - neither feeling the joy of being “popular” not the freedom of feeling unknown. I am writing again - for now - clear on what I . To be largely unknown but not totally invisible. To have a place to write and ideally find a few friends. The attractive woman I met here - we are still friends all these years later although she know longer writes. She has such a beautiful soul. We don’t talk often and she is some 3000 miles away so we do not see one another but I was thinking of her just now and of this place and of where it started. I was thinking of the things I miss and the things I don’t miss. I would like to say I miss having a place to write and just express myself - but I could do that in a journal locked away in a closet. What I think I truly do miss the most was finding just a few people who resonated with me so deeply. People who knew what was inside me better than my best friends did - and yet I could be myself. What motivates you to write? What kinds of friendships have you developed? Any big surprises?
1 comment
Quoting Bill Clinton
Posted:Sep 16, 2021 6:44 am
Last Updated:Sep 28, 2021 12:8 pm
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I don’t want get into politics or talking about our love or distaste for any US President current or past. I wrote a post yesterday and one of the comments made me think about a quote from Bill Clinton. Now given this site or Bill’s most memorable accomplishments as President the quote that most usually pops into people’s brains when they think of Clinton is: “I did not have sexual relationship with that woman.” Oh is so much that could be said about that quote. The crafty use of the definition of sex, the objectification of woman through the use of the word, “that” but I digress.

Bill has one of the quotes that I consider one of my mantras now that I have reached the category of “mature males”. The quote is:

When our memories
outweigh our dreams, it is
then that we become old.

I often pair that with Dylan Thomas’s, “Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light.” But I think Bill’s quote captures it better. Dylan while he captures the notion that we should not just accept aging what he has missed is the battle while never truly winnable is not best fought through rage or anger but is won through our dreams. I have a an inclination to believe that those of us here blogging and writing are those are dreaming. Yes, we fill our pages with memories but we are actively dreaming and living. We are on this site sensual beings still full of passions whether sexual or otherwise looking for kindred spirts share our desires, dreams, and lives.

What are some of your favorite inspirational quotes? Do you have any personal mantras? I would love hear them.
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When did I get old?
Posted:Sep 14, 2021 5:58 pm
Last Updated:Sep 16, 2021 6:09 am
206 Views

I noticed tonight looking through the recent blogs and top bloggers on the site list that almost everyone is in their 40s and 50s. Is blogging just for middle aged people. When I was younger felt like the bloggers were younge. If you are in your 20s and 30s is it mostly videos, Snapchat, YouTube and TikTok. Seriously wondering.
9 Comments
Restless
Posted:Sep 14, 2021 6:22 am
Last Updated:Sep 14, 2021 1:43 pm
162 Views

There is a restless impatience in me lately. It started before I met you. It started from needs unmet and desires too long suppressed. You have given this restlessness a face and a name. It now has form and has become a hunger.

I am usually the strong and dominant one, but I find myself waiting powerlessly for you to be here. The restlessness builds more and more. It has become a fire. It consumes me and burns me from inside.

When we finally meet are you ready to feel all these years of holding back released on to you? Into you? I tell myself I will be a gentleman and to take it slow. I know that is a lie. I will devour you. It will not be gentle or slow. It will be primal and hot and fast because I am restless and you are my release.

But I also know that I long to hold you after. To just feel you breath while you lay with your head on me. The next time I will be more gentle my dear… but still hungry and restless. Not restless from a need unmet, but restless from wanting you again.

I can’t yet tell if you will calm my restlessness. I am not sure yet if the relief you bring me is because this is what I needed or you are distraction from the things that haunt me and are still missing. Maybe it doesn’t matter. Right now I just want this to begin and for a moment of calm.

Do you feel restless? Does this place help to calm it or is it just more fuel on the fire?
1 comment

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Most Recent Comments by Others

Post Poster Post Date
Conversations in the Dark (2)author51
Sep 22, 2021 1:09 am
When did I get old? (15)G000dbuddy
Sep 15, 2021 7:06 am
Restless (2)author51
Sep 14, 2021 8:56 am