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Sexy TIMES
 


Welcome to Sexy TIMES!

This blog will report various, often random and sometimes dubious thoughts, quirks, observations, trivia, tales, questions, dreams, rants, opinions, truths, musings, stories, lies, hopes, moans, fantasies, etc in the hope of tempting you to get involved.

Our mission is to put the facts in the public domain!

Please feel free to write a letter to the editor at LETTERS TO THE EDITOR.

Back issues of Sexy TIMES are available at INDEX OF BACK ISSUES


Sexy TIMES editor: spunkycumfun, Esq.
Sexy TIMES proprietor: Rupert Murdoch
Sexy TIMES executive designer: [blog cherimore]

The editor and, of course, the proprietor take no responsibility for accuracy of the content, nor any responsibility for the propriety of how the content was gathered. Otherwise, Sexy TIMES subscribes to the highest ethical standards of journalism.
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ACCIDENTS DO HAPPEN!
Posted:Oct 12, 2012 9:46 am
Last Updated:May 29, 2013 10:30 am
15097 Views
Below are 12 things that have been retrieved from people's rectums in hospital:

1. vibrator and salad tongs (found in a man's rectum who unsuccessfully used salad tongs to fish out a vibrator from his bum - see below)



2.17 Oxycodone pills, 1 cigarette, 6 matches, 1 flint, 1 empty syringe, 1 lip balm container, 1 condom, 1 receipt and 1 coupon (found in the rectum of a Florida inmate)

3. a cutlery set (found in Margaret Daalman's rectum who suffers from pica, an eating disorder involving a craving for non-food items)

4. 30 magnets (found in an American 's rectum)

5. a cement/enema mix (found in a gay man's rectum)

6. a glass bottle (found in a 60 year-old man's rectum, who also suffered perforation peritonitis - in other words, a torn-up bum)

7. a Coca Cola bottle (found in a 60 year-old man who claimed that thieves had inserted the bottle up his bum)

8. 20 cobblestones (found in a Chinese woman's rectum after an argument with her boyfriend)

9. a mobile phone (found in a lawyer's rectum who claimed that he slipped in the shower and landed on his phone)

10. a peanut butter jar (found in an elderly man's rectum who claimed that he also slipped in the shower while washing his and fell on the jar)

11. a 1.5 ton airplane (found in Michel Lotito's digestive system; his case baffles doctors as he also regularly eats crushed wine glasses, car tyres and lightbulbs)

12. live ammunition (found in a Second World War veteran's rectum after he had used a live artillery shell to push his haemorrhoids back in using a live artillery shell - see within for an X-ray picture)
10 Comments
SAUCY POSTCARDS
Posted:Oct 11, 2012 12:17 pm
Last Updated:Mar 18, 2014 9:27 am
15573 Views
The earliest known (hand-designed) picture postcard was sent to the London writer, Theodore Hook, probably sent by him, in 1840 as a practical joke. The postcard contained an image poking fun at the UK's Post office workers.

In 1894, the UK's Royal Mail granted permission to publishers to make picture postcards. Sending postcards when on holiday became a popular pastime for British people.

In the early 1930s, cartoon-style postcards became popular and, at their peak, about 16 million saucy postcards were sold each year. Donald McGill was a prominent saucy postcard designer. He found that the saucier the postcard, the more it sold. His most famous saucy postcard, captioned 'Do you like Kipling?', sold over 6 million, still a world record now.

In the early 1950s, the Conservative Government was concerned about declining moral standards in Britain. In July 1954, Donald McGill was found guilty of breaching the Obscene Publications Act of 1857. Sales of saucy postcards declined. Below is one postcard that was used in evidence against McGill:



It looks very tame now, but it sheds much light on the moral climate of 1950s Britain.

There is a Donald McGill Postcard Museum in Ryde, Isle of Wight, where in 1953 police raided five shops and confiscated over 5,000 of his saucy postcards.

Because of the internet etc, not many people send postcards anymore. But I love receiving a postcard, especially a saucy postcard!

Do you still send a postcard? Do you like receiving postcard? Do you like saucy postcards?

Several saucy postcards are posted within.
16 Comments
BLONDE JOKE?
Posted:Oct 10, 2012 12:12 pm
Last Updated:Jul 13, 2014 7:41 am
15517 Views
Why are all so-called 'dumb blonde' jokes one-liners?
So men can understand them.

4 Comments
WORLD'S BIGGEST COCK
Posted:Oct 9, 2012 11:36 am
Last Updated:Oct 3, 2014 10:45 am
18391 Views
Jonah Falcon, a 40-year New York man, currently holds the Guinness World Record for the world’s largest penis, which is “longer than his forearm and thicker than his wrist” measuring 13.5 inches when erect.



If a man, would you want a cock this size?
If a woman (or a man), could you take a cock this size?

Below is an extract from an article of his experience at an airport.

_____________

Jonah Falcon, Man With World's Largest Penis, Frisked By TSA At California Airport

On 9 July 2012, Jonah Falcon was stopped and frisked by security staff of the Transportation Security Administration at San Francisco International Airport because of a bulging package hidden in his pants. But the 41-year-old New Yorker wasn't packing a dirty bomb, drugs or a large tube of toothpaste. The New Yorker has the world's largest recorded penis.

"I had my 'stuff' strapped to the left. I wasn't erect at the time," said Falcon, whose penis is 9 inches flaccid, 13.5 inches erect. "One of the guards asked if my pockets were empty and I said, 'Yes.'" Falcon said he knew that his interview was about to get a lot more personal when he was led through one of the X-ray body scanners and passed a metal detector. "Another guard stopped me and asked me if I had some sort of growth," Falcon said, laughing.

By the age of 18, Falcon knew he had something special when his manhood reached a whopping 12 inches. His family jewel was hailed as the world's largest on record after an HBO documentary featured him in 1999. Falcon has been contacted by porn companies (though he's never accepted) and has been featured on just about every talkshow in the USA.

As he passed through airport security, Falcon said a younger security guard felt threatened by his "very noticeable" package and interpreted it as a biological threat.

"I said, 'It's my dick,'" Falcon said. "He gave me a pat down but made sure to go around [my penis] with his hands. They even put some powder on my pants, probably a test for explosives. I found it amusing." The screener gave up the extensive search without so much as a blush or a smile. Falcon made his flight back to New York on time.

But Falcon learned something that day. The hardened traveler has a new game plan for airport security. "I'm just gonna wear bike shorts from now on," Falcon said. "That way, they'll know. You'd think the San Francisco TSA would have had experience with hung guys before, but I guess not."

[source: Andy Campbell, Huffington Post]
6 Comments
GURNING AND SEX
Posted:Oct 8, 2012 12:40 pm
Last Updated:May 30, 2013 6:47 am
17212 Views
A gurn is a distorted facial expression. To gurn, according to Joseph Wright in the English Dialect Dictionary is "to snarl as a dog; to look savage; to distort the countenance".



Gurning contests are a rural English tradition. The World Gurning Championship takes place annually at the Egremont Crab Fair, Cumbria in northern England. Contestants frame their contorted faces through a collar, which is called gurnin' through a braffin'; the collar is like a picture frame.

Peter Jackman (see above) is England's best known gurner, having won the world championship four times. In 2000, he had his teeth removed to make it easier to gurn.

Has anyone here gurned? Perhaps we can see a picture!

We all gurn when we have sex, especially when we orgasm. What is your face like when you orgasm?
3 Comments
EATING TESTICLES
Posted:Oct 7, 2012 11:02 am
Last Updated:May 25, 2015 1:08 am
18037 Views
In 2008, the world's first testicle cookbook, The Testicle Cookbook: Cooking with Balls, was published.



The e-book was written by the Serbian chef, Ljubomir Erovic, who has been a leading cook of testicular cuisine for about 20 years.

"The tastiest testicles in my opinion probably come from bulls, stallions or ostriches", says the chef. He adds, "all testicles can be eaten - except human, of course". Also, he strongly advises using a "very sharp knife".

Ljubomir Erovic has made testicle omelette, testicle goulash, testicle pizza, battered testicles, barbecued testicles, and testicle bourguignon.

Testicles are prized for their libido-boosting qualities. According to Erovic, "The best for aphrodisiac properties are sheep and stallion testicles."

Since 2004, Ljubomir Erovic also organises the World Testicle Cooking Championship held in Serbia. When not cooking and eating testicles, he runs a company maintaining medical and dental equipment.
1 comment
WOULD YOU WEAR THIS DRESS?
Posted:Oct 6, 2012 6:34 am
Last Updated:Feb 27, 2015 7:14 am
18537 Views
The Intimacy 2.0 dress, which turns transparent when the wearer becomes aroused, has now been created. The Dutch designer, Daan Roosegaarde, created the dress out of leather, and smart opaque e-foils. It also uses wireless technologies, electronics, and LEDs.

The dress comes in two colours, Intimacy White and Intimacy Black.

The dress is opaque in normal situations, but becomes clearer as the wearer’s heart rate and body temperature increases.

This is the dress BEFORE arousal:



Daan Roosegaarde, in describing his style of fashion as “techno-poetry”, said: “Social interactions determine the garment’s level of transparency, creating a sensual play of disclosure. It’s intended to be worn at cocktail parties, to show whether the wearer is interested in the man or woman she’s talking to. And it would be daringly perfect to wear on the red carpet because, as an ultimate statement of exposure, the dress responds to flashlight, and becomes fully see-through in the blink of an eye when a photographer takes a picture with a flash.”

He is currently in talks to produce a fashion version of the dress, which responds whenever the wearer gets excited or embarrassed, to be sold in fashion shops.
4 Comments
TEENAGE KICKS!
Posted:Oct 5, 2012 10:30 am
Last Updated:May 21, 2015 10:35 am
19267 Views
Roxy Music was the first live band I ever saw at the age of 13. I had led a sheltered life at an all-boys boarding school and this was a rare trip outside of school. It was very exciting standing next to girls at the gig.

Roxy Music released their album, Country Life, in 1974 - it is ranked number 387 on Rolling Stone's list of best albums of all time).

Bryan Ferry, Roxy Music's singer, named the album after the rural lifestyle magazine of the same name. He was and remains fond of the English countryside; he backed his , Otis Ferry, who was a keen fox-hunter until its ban in the UK and who also spent four months in prison in the campaign to get the ban overturned.

As a , it was not just the music that drew me to Roxy Music. It was their album cover. Below is the classic cover of the Country Life album:



The photograph is of two scantily-clad models, Constanze Karoli and Eveline Grunwald. Bryan Ferry met them in Portugal and persuaded them to do the photograph for the album.

The album cover was banned in several countries, including the Netherlands, Spain and the United States.

For me, this album cover was the closest I got to girls during most of my early teenage years. The album cover left a lot to the imagination by revealing just a little.

Did you like this album cover?

Did you have any similar teenage kicks?
2 Comments
PERSONAL SERVICES
Posted:Oct 4, 2012 9:09 am
Last Updated:Dec 5, 2015 11:22 am
19229 Views
In 1987 the film, Personal Services, was released. It is a film based on Cynthia Payne (played by Julie Walters).

Cynthia Payne was imprisoned in 1980 for running a brothel at 32 Ambleside Avenue, Streatham in London. Below is Cynthia Payne with one of her :



In 1978, the police raided her house while a sex party was in progress. Elderly men, including many establishment figures, were caught dressed in lingerie being spanked by younger women. The men paid Cynthia Payne, the party hostess, in luncheon vouchers.

Her home, in 1986, was raided again by the police while a party celebrating the film was in progress. She was acquitted on this occasion.

Cynthia Payne also unsuccessfully stood for election in the Kensington by-election in 1988 and in the 1992 general election. She was a candidate for the Payne and Pleasure Party.
1 comment
The Perv Olympics
Posted:Aug 14, 2012 4:12 am
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2014 1:45 am
18180 Views

Recently the blogger gottaring organised The Perv Olympics.

We were nominated for the Sexiest Profile Pictures Award for couples and we were lucky enough to be awarded the bronze medal.



We want to thank gottaring for organising this event, KellyMissBHaven for presenting us with the medal, and the people who voted for us - we think we had 3 votes!

For a listing of the results of The Perv Olympics, go to white_lily's [post 2977516] post.
2 Comments
what makes for a good blog?
Posted:Jul 31, 2012 2:24 am
Last Updated:Nov 29, 2012 11:56 am
20092 Views

We're interested in what makes for a good blog? What do people like to see in a blog?
Why are female bloggers far more popular than male bloggers on this site? Is it because they are better at blogging or is it because there are more males on the site?
3 Comments
interested in couples, parties etc?
Posted:Apr 2, 2012 9:47 am
Last Updated:Nov 29, 2012 11:56 am
20252 Views

If interested in making contact with, chatting to, meeting and/or partying with couples, please join the COUPLES UK group on BBWMatchMate. It is a couples-only group for couples who want to discuss all things swinging, including parties.
0 Comments
Messages from standard members
Posted:Apr 11, 2011 10:16 am
Last Updated:Nov 29, 2012 11:55 am
26647 Views

Couples who are standard members are welcome to post on this blog below if they wish to contact us. We promise to contact you by BBWMatchMate mail. Thanks.
1 comment

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