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Welcome to Sexy TIMES!

This blog will report various, often random and sometimes dubious thoughts, quirks, observations, trivia, tales, questions, dreams, rants, opinions, truths, musings, stories, lies, hopes, moans, fantasies, etc in the hope of tempting you to get involved.

Our mission is to put the facts in the public domain!

Please feel free to write a letter to the editor at LETTERS TO THE EDITOR.

Back issues of Sexy TIMES are available at INDEX OF BACK ISSUES


Sexy TIMES editor: spunkycumfun, Esq.
Sexy TIMES proprietor: Rupert Murdoch
Sexy TIMES executive designer: [blog cherimore]

The editor and, of course, the proprietor take no responsibility for accuracy of the content, nor any responsibility for the propriety of how the content was gathered. Otherwise, Sexy TIMES subscribes to the highest ethical standards of journalism.
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HOW DO YOU KEEP YOUR BED WARM?
Posted:Jun 16, 2017 12:09 pm
Last Updated:Jul 8, 2017 12:43 pm
73816 Views






"I am the world’s first professional bed warmer," Viktoria Ivachyova recently announced to Russian reporters, "and I’m filling a gap in the market, because nobody likes getting into cold sheets at night."

The twenty-one year old Moscow woman offers to lie in your bed for 4,900 rubles (about £65 or $82) for an hour before your bedtime. Or you can pay her 102,700 rubles (about £1,350 or $1,700) to come in to your home every night for a month.

"I lie in the bed in my pyjamas, and allow the to enter the room while I’m lying there," Viktoria Ivachyova added, "I’m a great listener, and enjoy listening to men talk about their problems."

"There’s just one rule - no physical contact! I always carry a panic alarm, just in case a gets the wrong impression."

Business is so good that Viktoria Ivachyova is now looking to hire more women as professional bed warmers.


How do you warm up your bed?
Would you ever consider using the services of a professional bed warmer?


I’ve used many types of bed warmers, ranging from a hot water bottle to an electric blanket and from pyjamas to extra bedding. At boarding school, because there was no heating, I had to put on extra clothes before going to bed in the winter!

Nowadays my bed warmer is my girlfriend! If I did need a bed warmer, I wouldn’t pay lots of rubles for a professional bed warmer but I would pay a few dollars to buy a Jayne Mansfield hot water bottle to keep warm during those cold nights.






44 Comments
OPERATION SPANNER
Posted:Jun 14, 2017 11:39 am
Last Updated:Jul 8, 2017 12:43 pm
69061 Views


This story, which is a true story, isn't for the squeamish!

In 1990, 16 gay men in England were given prison sentences of up to four and a half years or fined for engaging in consensual sado-masochistic activities. The convictions were later upheld by the Court of Appeal, the Law Lords and the European Court of Human Rights.

Though sado-masochism is not explicitly outlawed in this country, the men were convicted of assault despite their informed consent.

In a raid in 1987, the police found a videotape of the men engaged in various and severe acts of sado-masochism, including bloody beatings and CBT (and I mean cock and ball torture not cognitive behavioural therapy). The men particularly liked to hammer nails into each other’s balls!

At the time on finding the videotape, the police believed that men were being killed in their BDSM sessions; they thus launched Operation Spanner, an investigation that cost £4 million. I'm also guessing that the police thought a spanner beats a hammer!

In court, the men admitted to their BDSM activities over a ten-year period confident that they would be acquitted because they had all consented and none of them had ever required medical attention. Their defence was rejected in three courts.


Do you think that consensual sado-masochistic sex, even if involving assault, should be legally allowed?
Do you have a toolbox in your home?
What’s your favourite tool in your toolbox?


I think sado-masochism, despite not being my cup of tea, should be allowed if consenting. But I think if it leads to significant injury or even death, then, it shouldn’t be allowed; in such cases, though innocent consent may be given there may be doubt whether understood consent is given.

If sado-masochism is outlawed, where does this leave fights between ice hockey players, blows traded by boxers and hits by rugby players?

I’m a proud owner of a toolbox, though it mainly gathers dust in my wardrobe. However, my favourite tool is the spanner. I always carry an adjustable spanner in my pocket just in case; you never know when you may need a tool to help a poor man who has a plank of wood accidentally stuck up his rectum!


43 Comments
YOU'VE MADE YOUR BED, NOW LIE IN IT
Posted:Jun 11, 2017 11:59 am
Last Updated:Jul 8, 2017 12:42 pm
72457 Views




A recent survey in the UK found that nine out of ten men in a heterosexual relationship leave making the bed to their partner.

I plead guilty as I very rarely make the bed; my girlfriend does. My defence is that I have no problem with an unmade bed. Beds made only get unmade in less than half a day! What’s the point in making a bed?!

My girlfriend also wants our bedding changed regularly, but I love the smell of sex on bedding so I’m quite happy for the bedding not to be changed for at least a fortnight or even a month.

Also when my girlfriend changes the bedding, she doesn’t do hospital corners and she puts useless cushions on the newly made bed. This is just plainly wrong!


Who makes your bed?
How often do you change your bedding?
Do you have cushions on your bed?


'You've made your bed, now lie in it' is a popular saying. My parents often said this phrase to me when I made bad choices and felt I shouldn’t complain about what’s happened afterwards; somehow it was meant as a lesson in life.

However, this phrase doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. As with most adages, idioms and proverbs, another one can be dragged out to counter it. In this case Reinhold Niebuhr saying comes to mind: "grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

If someone can change something bad, then that choice should be reversed; if not, then, that bad has to be accepted even if not welcomed.

It’s a bit like Theresa May’s predicament now. The UK Prime Minister called a snap general election because she wanted "strong and stable leadership" and not a "coalition of chaos" in the run-up to the Brexit negotiations that are soon to start. Her "coalition of chaos" dalek-like phrase was a dig at a possible coalition government involving the Labour Party and Scottish National Party.

Now after the election we get a "coalition of chaos" with the Conservatives jumping into bed with Northern Ireland’s Democratic Unionist Party; the DUP isn’t known for its liberal views! This will be a far more unstable coalition than that between the Labour and SNP.

Now my parents, both very staunch Tory voters, would have said that Theresa May has made her bed in calling the election and now she has to lie in it. I would say that this outcome was caused by unpopular austerity and Brexit policies. The way forward is for the Tories to reverse their decisions to cut welfare that hurt almost everyone and to proceed with Brexit that’ll hurt everyone.

But the Tories don’t have the guts to reverse their choices because they just want to cling onto power; this is why the UK's Conservative Party are arguably the most successful political party in the democratic world.




48 Comments
THE MAGNIFICENTLY RUDE MAP OF THE WORLD AND ASTONISHINGLY REAL PLACE NAMES
Posted:Jun 7, 2017 12:06 pm
Last Updated:Jul 8, 2017 12:42 pm
71071 Views


Following its top-selling publication of the Marvellous Map of Great British Place Names, the UK map-makers Strumpshaw, Tincleton & Gigglesworth has just published the Magnificently Rude Map of the World and Astonishingly Real Place Names.

Given that the map above is probably barely readable, here’s a brief whirlwind guide to the rude place names that can be found in the world.

Starting here in the UK, you can visit Butthole Lane, Golden Balls, Lickham Bottom, Muff, Shitterton, Slap Bottom, Tickle Cock Bridge and Twatt.

Incredibly there are no rude places to frequent in Ireland!

Moving across the Channel into Europe, there's Anus, Arse, Brest, Pissy and Pussy to see in France. Elsewhere in Europe, Arsoll, Clit, Bastardo, Bendova, Buggerru, Grand Sex, Horny, Middelfart, Minge, Pis, Poo, Rectum, Titz, Urin and Wank are surely worth a visit.

Travelling eastwards into Asia, there’s Urin and Vagina in Russia, Bum and Cunt in Turkey, Ars and Shit in Iran, Cumbum and Poo in India, Fuku and Sexi in China, Kinki Expressway and Shite in Japan, Bangkok and Phuket in Thailand, Bum Bum Island and Semen in Indonesia, and Bollock and Sexmoan in The Philippines to visit.

In Australia, there’s Break Wind Reserve, Curly Dick Road, Hungry Knob, Mount Buggery and Prominent Nob. There are a lot of nobs in Australia! Not to be outdone, New Zealand has Bonar Knob, Bowels of the Earth and Nervous Knob. It seems there are lots of nobs in New Zealand too!

Moving to Africa, Dik, Dildo, Fuka, Kunting, Pee, Shit, Tit and Wankie are all on the tourist trail.

Across the Atlantic Ocean and In South America, there’s Sexy, Shagnasty Island and Varginha for sightseers. In Central America, there’s Little Dix, Pis Pis River and Poop for travellers.

In America, they have Ballplay, Beaverlick, Climax, Dickshooter, Felch, Horneytown, Intercourse, Mianus, New Erection and Spunky Puddle.

And in Canada, the world’s most perverted country, there’s Backside of Hell Cove, Bare Bum Pond, Bastard, Big Beaver, Climax, Lake Minnewanka, Prince Albert, Sexsmith, Shitagoo Lake and Witches’ Tits to sample.


What rude place would you most like to visit?

I’m tempted to do a worldwide tour and put Tickle Cock Bridge, Bendova, Bum Bum Island, Hungry Knob, Fuka, Shagnasty Island, Spunky Puddle and Bare Bum Pond on my travel itinerary.

I shouldn’t mock these place names as the place where I live, Nottingham, is named after a Saxon Chief called Snot. Nottingham was once known as Snotengaham, meaning the 'homestead of Snot'. It was only when the Vikings in 867 and later the Normans in 1086 took control of the city that the 'S' was dropped from Snottingham to become Nottingham!


What’s the history behind the name of the place you live?

Below is a photo of the Saxon Chief Snot when he was a baby!

35 Comments
WHAT'S IN A USERNAME? FROM ME TO TO THE ROYAL FAMILY
Posted:Jun 4, 2017 10:44 am
Last Updated:Jul 8, 2017 12:40 pm
72829 Views
This post is my contribution to the thirty-first virtual symposium moderated by the cult leaderess, pocogato12. Please visit the Virtual Symposium Group’s #31 Symposium JUNE TOPIC LINK for USER NAMES post to read other contributions to the 'Username' virtual symposium.





My thinking behind my username on this site is probably quite self-explanatory!

However, it wasn’t always so straightforward when my profile was created a few years back. After deciding to join the site as a couple and after deciding to conceal our identity on the site, my then partner created a profile here.

When she said she had created our profile, I asked her what our username was. She replied that the first three letters of the username was her first name and the last four letters were my surname!

Within seconds of her reply, alarm bells rang. Apart from the unfairness that her identity was far more concealed than my identity as her first name, unlike my surname, is a very common name, I realised we had to quickly change our username.

So without too much thought spunkycumfun came into my head - it sort of rolls off the lips quite well!

When I disappeared from the site, still under investigation, I resurrected myself as notspunkycumfun. Now that doesn’t roll off the lips!


What thinking lay behind your choice of username on this site?
Would you choose the same username now?


I’ve just received an urgent press release from the Royal Family that I’ve been asked to release on this site. It reads:

"With regret buckinghampalace wants to deny the widespread rumours that members of the royalfamily regularly frequent this site. queen ElizabethII, the late QueenMother, the dukeofedinburgh, PrinceCharles, the late princessdiana, the duchess of cornwall, Princess anne, prince Andrew and sarahferguson, princeedward and sophie, prince William, KateMiddleton and Pippamiddleton, princegeorge, Princess charlotte, princeharry and Meghan Markle have never been members of this site. Anyone who suggests otherwise will face vigorous legal action."

That’s us told!




39 Comments
MY KIND OF BDSM NOWADAYS
Posted:May 31, 2017 10:31 am
Last Updated:Jun 13, 2017 2:25 am
72252 Views
Breakfast:


Dinner:


Supper:


Midnight feast:


Nowadays my kind of BDSM involves a breakfast, dinner, supper and midnight feast. I tend to say lunch for a midday meal and dinner for an evening meal, but that wouldn’t fit the BDSM acronym!

Breakfast, cooked not continental, is my favourite meal of the day.


What’s your favourite meal of the day?

In the not-so-distant past I partook in a lot of BDSM, mainly because my then girlfriend also liked it too!

Of all the bits of BDSM, I like bondage and domination but I don’t much like sado-masochism. So I’m more of a B&D than an S&M person!

In particular, I love playing Japanese bondage rope, I like spanking and I adore ball weights. I’ve previously posted on the pleasures and pains of ball weights - see WEIGHTY MATTERS.


What bits of BDSM have you tried?
If tried, what bits did you most like and dislike?


My best so-called dirty weekends have been spent in a BDSM guest house tucked away in rural England. The guest house was called Ess and Emm and it was run by Madam Katya, though she wasn’t there when we stayed; we were alone entertaining ourselves!

For those who want to know more about this BDSM guest house and my adventures there, please go to my previous posts - ESS AND EMM, A DIRTY WEEKEND PART ONE, A DIRTY WEEKEND PART TWO and A DIRTY WEEKEND PART THREE.


Bondage:


Domination:


Sadism:


Masochism:
38 Comments
A DINGLE WEDDING
Posted:May 28, 2017 12:03 pm
Last Updated:Jun 10, 2017 1:06 pm
72427 Views


Teasingly I call my girlfriend’s family, the Dingles. The Dingles are a family in Emmerdale, a television soap opera popular in Britain. The Dingles aren’t the brightest buttons in the drawer, but their entangled lives, dodgy dealings and stupid antics make for a great anchor to my favourite soap programme.

My girlfriend’s family, especially her extended family, are like the Dingles but don’t appear on television to display their talents, though I think Jeremy Kyle would be very interested in having them on his trash television show.

Last weekend I was supposed to accompany my girlfriend to a family wedding. One of my girlfriend’s nieces was marring the ex-husband of another one of my girlfriend’s nieces. The wedding was taking place in Boston in Lincolnshire, the Brexit capital of Britain. This was not a wedding I was looking forward to.

My girlfriend and I decided that staying in the same hotel of the wedding was on balance the best option, as we could get drunk to soften the wedding experience.

On the day before the wedding my girlfriend dealt me a 'get out of a jail card'. She said that if I don’t want to go to the wedding, her would be happy to take my place. Not wanting to deny her any happiness, I gallantly stood down from my duty to accompanying my girlfriend to the wedding.

Do you regularly watch any television soap programmes?
What’s been the worst wedding you’ve been to?
How well do you get on with the family of your partners?


Normally I love weddings and I’ve not been to a bad one, even my own drunken wedding was good. But the worst, but still the most entertaining, wedding I’ve attended was a wedding where a mass brawl broke out between the families of the bride and groom.

My girlfriend’s family have not matched Bill Wyman and Mandy Smith … yet! Bill Wyman, the Rolling Stones’ bass player, started seeing Mandy Smith in 1983 when she was 13 years old; Mandy Smith's mother acampanied them on their honeymoon! Five years later, they got married but their marriage lasted just two years.

However, when Bill Wyman and Mandy Smith were experiencing marital difficulties, Mandy Smith’s mother Patsy married Bill Wyman’s Stephen. Now that’s an entanglement!

By the way, my girlfriend’s family think I’m a stuck-up upper class snob from Downton Abbey! But we get on very well despite and maybe even because of the class divide!

As a priority, I try very, very hard to get on with my partner’s family. Getting on always makes like calmer and simpler!

34 Comments
CHOOSE LOVE MANCHESTER
Posted:May 24, 2017 10:29 am
Last Updated:Oct 8, 2021 4:45 am
76008 Views


22 people were killed and 59 were injured after a bomb attack at the Manchester Arena Monday night. Among the dead was an eight year-old girl and among the injured 20 people are still in critical condition in hospital.

Fans - mainly and teenagers, plus their accompanying parents – of the American singer Ariana Grande were targeted by the suicide bomber, Salman Abedi, a refugee long settled in Manchester but who had just visited Libya and Syria.

ISIS has claimed responsibility for this attack, the worst since the 7/7 bombings in London nearly years ago, but this has not been verified yet. The police suspect that the suicide bomber was part of a network and are making many arrests.

The Government has just increased the terror threat level critical which means that another terrorist attack is expected imminently. Over 1,000 troops, along with armed police officers, are now patrolling the streets in Britain; this figure will rise thousands in the coming days.

The general election campaign has been suspended.

Amidst the terrible news there's some heartening news. The people of Manchester have rallied together to show solidarity with the victims and their families. Taxi drivers gave lifts to fans fleeing from the Arena without fare; hotels offered free accommodation to the fans; many residents opened their homes the fans, many people queued donate blood, people freely gave food and drinks the emergency workers and thousands attended a 'vigil of peace' yesterday evening.



At the vigil, the local poet Tony Walsh, known Longfella in poetic circles, recited one of his poems, This Is the Place. It was an emotional, defiant and rousing recital – it reduced tears. After reciting the poem, Tony Walsh declared to the crowd, "Choose Love Manchester". Below are the words of the poem.

This is the place
In the north-west of England. It’s ace, it’s the best
And the songs that we sing from the stands, from our bands
Set the whole planet shaking.
Our inventions are legends. There’s nowt we can’t make, and so we make brilliant music
We make brilliant bands
We make goals that make souls leap from seats in the stands
And we make things from steel
And we make things from cotton
And we make people laugh, take the mick summat rotten
And we make you at home
And we make you feel welcome and we make summat happen
And we can’t seem to help it
And if you’re looking from history, then yeah we’ve a wealth
But the Manchester way is to make it yourself.
And make us a record, a new number one
And make us a brew while you’re , love, go
And make us feel proud that you’re winning the league
And make us sing louder and make us believe that this is the place that has helped shape the world
And this is the place where a Manchester girl named Emmeline Pankhurst from the streets of Moss Side led a suffragette city with sisterhood pride
And this is the place with appliance of science, we’re it, atomic, we struck with defiance, and in the face of a challenge, we always stand tall, Mancunians, in union, delivered it all
Such housing and libraries and health, education and unions and coops and first railway stations
So we’re sorry, bear with us, we invented commuters. But we hope you forgive us, we invented computers.
And this is the place Henry Rice strolled with rolls, and we’ve rocked and we’ve rolled with our own northern soul
And so this is the place do business then dance, where go-getters and goal-setters know they’ve a chance
And this is the place where we first played . And mum, lived and died , she loved it, she did.
And this is the place where our folks came work, where they struggled in puddles, they hurt in the dirt and they built us a city, they built us these towns and they coughed the cobbles the deafening sound the steaming machines and the screaming of slaves, they were scheming for greatness, they dreamed their graves.
And they left us a spirit. They left us a vibe. That Mancunian way survive and thrive and work and build, connect, and create and Greater Manchester’s greatness is keeping it great.
And so this is the place now with of our own. Some are born , some drawn , but they call it home.
And they’ve covered the cobbles, but they’ll never defeat, all the dreamers and schemers who still teem through these streets.
Because this is a place that has been through some hard times: oppressions, recessions, depressions, and dark times.
But we keep fighting back with Greater Manchester spirit. Northern grit, Northern wit, and Greater Manchester’s lyrics.
And these hard times again, in these streets of our city, but we won’t take defeat and we don’t want your pity.
Because this is a place where we stand strong together, with a smile on our face, greater Manchester forever.
And we’ve got this place where a team with a dream can get funding and something to help with a scheme.
Because this is a place that understands your grand plans. We don’t do "no can do", we just stress "yes we can"
Forever Manchester’s a charity for people round here, you can fundraise, don you can be a volunteer. You can live local, give local, we can honestly say, we do charity different, that Mancunian way.
And we fund local , and we fund local teams. We support local dreamers work for their dreams. We support local groups and the great work they do. So can you help us, help local people like you?
Because this is the place in our hearts, in our homes, because this is the place that’s a part of our bones.
Because Greater Manchester gives us such strength from the fact that this is the place, we should give something back.
Always remember, never forget, forever Manchester.


37 Comments
WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF TRUMP WAS YOUR NEIGHBOUR?
Posted:May 21, 2017 12:52 pm
Last Updated:Oct 23, 2021 5:25 am
95225 Views

You have a new neighbour. His name is Donald J Trump, the former 45th President of the United States!

Despite several failed assassination attempts, he has just been impeached and has retired from public life in your quiet neighbourhood well away from the embarrassing glare of media publicity.

In case you’ve forgotten, inside are a few images just to remind you what Donald Trump looks like!

Donald Trump knocks on your front door wanting to introduce himself as your new neighbour.

I’d invite him into my home and have a chat with him but all without shaking his hand, without offering him a chair and without giving him a drink. That'll show him what's what!

What would you do on seeing Donald Trump standing on your doorstep?
Shake his hand and welcome him to the neighbourhood on your doorstep
Shut the front door immediately
Ask him in for a neighbourly chat over a drink
Punch him in the face
Warn him of the many gays, drug addicts, poor people, Muslims and Mexicans who frequent the neighbourhood
Congratulate him on his business, media and political achievements
Phone the local newspaper to report some fake news
Grab a gun and shoot him on the spot
Invite him out for a night on the town to go pussy-grabbing
Immediately start plans to build a wall around your home to prevent him returning
90 Comments , 56 votes
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YELLOW?
Posted:May 17, 2017 9:55 am
Last Updated:Jun 14, 2017 1:23 am
76732 Views


Not many people wear yellow underwear. It took me a whole week to find photographic evidence of people wearing yellow pants!

Not many people wear brown underwear either. For some reason yellow and brown aren’t popular choices of colour for underwear. I can’t think why!

Have you ever worn yellow underwear?
What colour underwear are you wearing today?
Who buys your underwear?


My pants today are red and, given no accidents, they may be red tomorrow!

I have an assortment of colours in my pants drawer though I don’t own any yellow or brown pants.

Mainly I buy my own underwear though my girlfriend often gives me underwear as birthday and Xmas presents.

PS. Today is the International Day against Homophobia, Transphobia and Biphobia.

49 Comments
MISDEMEANOURS AT SCHOOL
Posted:May 14, 2017 11:51 am
Last Updated:Jun 6, 2017 4:25 am
73058 Views


Here are nine accounts of famous people being expelled from school:

1. Salvador Dalí (see above), the Spanish surrealist artist, was expelled from the Special Painting, Sculpture and Engraving School of San Fernando in Madrid for displaying extravagant behaviour, including insulting one of his professors during his final examination.
2. Tony Blair, the former British Prime Minister, was expelled from Fettes, a top public school in Edinburgh, for insolence.
3. Humphrey Bogart, an American actor, was expelled from school for pushing a teacher into a pond.
4. Richard Branson, the British business entrepreneur, was expelled from boarding school for visiting a girl’s dormitory at night; on being caught by the headmaster and asked what he was doing, Richard Branson replied, "I was on my way back from your ’s room, sir."
5. Snoop Dogg, an American artist, was expelled from California’s Cleveland Elementary School because, in his words, "I showed a little girl my little thang!"
6. Rupert Everett, a British actor, attended the Central School of Speech and Drama in London but was expelled for drug-taking, which seems quite a tame reason to be expelled now!
7. Owen Wilson, an American actor, was expelled for stealing a teacher’s textbook that contained all the answers to his homework.
8. Stephen Fry, a British comedian, actor, television presenter, writer and polymath, stole a credit card while attending Uppingham School in Rutland for which he was both expelled for school and imprisoned in jail; he is currently being investigated by the Irish police for blasphemy after denouncing God as "utterly evil, capricious and monstrous" on television.
9. Tori Amos (see below), an American singer-songwriter, was expelled from the prestigious Peabody Conservatory of Music, part of John Hopkins University, because of musical differences; she liked pop and rock music and disliked reading from sheet music.

Were you ever excluded, whether expelled or suspended from school?
If so, what did you do?


I've never been excluded from school though I did come top of the caning league in my class at school. Once I got caned for farting and I don't even fart!

Inside is a bonus account of one hypocrite’s expulsion from school.

38 Comments
MUMMY WILL SAVE US
Posted:May 7, 2017 12:55 pm
Last Updated:Jun 14, 2017 11:05 am
83931 Views


With a nod to the Daddy Will Save Us art exhibition, a pro-Trump art show for "patriots" due to open tomorrow in Brooklyn, I want to present to you the Mummy Will Save Us exhibition.

This exhibition is quite a big one, but there are many interludes!

Just as the German Chancellor Angela Merkel is nicknamed Mutti, the British Prime Minister Theresa May shall be called Mummy! Or should she be called Mother Theresa?!



It seems only Mummy can save the British from the calamity of Brexit. Despite promising not to call a general election when she first became Prime Minister last year, she has now called a snap general election for the 8th of June.

Mummy claims that only with a fresh mandate from the British voters can she successfully negotiate a good deal for Britain in the already heated negotiations to leave the European Union.

Mummy has declared that we need "strong and stable leadership" rather than a "coalition of chaos" to make Britain great again!

Mummy doesn’t feel the need to answer any questions; she never answers a question.

Do you think Theresa May is an attractive woman?
Are you following the British general election campaign?


Whenever Theresa May talks what’s interesting is not what she says, as her words are no more than bland platitudes, but what’s interesting is that she talks as if she’s riding on a man’s cock. Oh she is!

Even though I’m not a Tory, I’d be very happy for Theresa May to ride my cock! At least I could sell my story to the newspapers to get rich and to bring her down at the same time. Now that’s a double whammy!



For those who don’t like politics I suggest you stop reading now as the next bit is all about politics, though you may want to look at the photos of Theresa May riding cowgirl!



Though the general election has only just been called, I’m already bored by the inanity of the campaign.

Despite Theresa May claiming that this general election will be a very important step in delivering Brexit, this election is all about political opportunism. Now I know all politicians are opportunists but occasionally they stand for something. The only thing Theresa May is standing for is herself and her party.

Theresa May's plea that she needs a fresh mandate for the Brexit negotiations is rubbish. There’ll be no serious opposition to Brexit because of the referendum result. Only the Liberal Democrats and the Greens are promising a second referendum on Brexit and unless there's a hung parliament they’ll be in no position to influence anything.

There will be no hung parliament and therefore no coalition government after next month’s general election because the Tories are a good 20 points ahead in the polls. This week’s local elections confirmed that the country is turning even more Tory.

Though the Conservatives have only a small majority in the House of Commons, this has not been a major problem for the Prime Minister as, with the exception of a vote to bomb Syria, the Conservative Government has won all important votes in the House of Commons since 2010.

There is nothing now stopping Theresa May’s Government from negotiating a Brexit deal. So why call an election?



As mentioned, this general election has been called solely for reasons of political opportunism. I think the reasons for what Theresa May is doing are fourfold. First, the outcome of the general election will almost certainly result in far more Conservative MPs and far less Labour MPs. Opportunism!

Second, the election will allow the Conservatives to ditch certain promises they made in the last election, such as possibly ditching its promises not to increase taxes, to protect state pensions, to cut immigration and to protect the international aid budget. More opportunism!

Third, the Brexit negotiations are not likely to go well - already there was a disastrous lunch between the Prime Minister and the European Commission's President which revealed massive differences between the UK and the rest of the EU. It’s highly likely that the Brexit deal as it unfolds will not be good for Britain. For example, the Trump administration has already reneged on its promise to negotiate a free trade deal with the UK quickly; the US will first negotiate a trade deal first with the more economically powerful EU instead. An early general election allows the Government to ride out this Brexit bad news well before the next general election in 2022. Again further opportunism!

Fourth, I think this election is part of Theresa May's political strategy to recast herself in the mould of Margaret Thatcher. It allows her to reinvent herself from a just-lukewarm Remainer to a fully-fledged Brexiteer, thus attracting more political, media and popular support. The election will allow her to forget her past. When people look back and compare Theresa May with Margaret Thatcher, they’ll find that she did what Margaret Thatcher didn’t do. Yet again, even more opportunism!



This general election won’t change the outcome of Brexit negotiations but it will change the fortunes of Theresa May and her Conservative Party.

What do you think will be the results of the general election next month in Britain?

I know predicting elections is a dangerous game - I got the last general election wrong (I said there’d be a hung parliament), I got the European Union referendum wrong (I said Remain would win) and I got the US presidential election wrong (I said it would be President Hillary Clinton). But I predict the Conservatives will comfortably win the next month’s general election.

I don’t think there’ll be a landslide victory for the Conservatives; they’ll just have a bigger majority in the House of Commons than what they have now. So what’s the point of this election?!

Mummy is about to cum so this is the finale of the Mummy Will Save Us art exhibition!

PS. Andrea Leadson wants it be known that Theresa May is no mummy!

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DA YA THINK I'M GRETZKY?
Posted:May 3, 2017 12:00 pm
Last Updated:Jun 6, 2017 4:25 am
76945 Views


Nearly all people know that Rod Stewart had a hit with Da Ya Think I’m Sexy?, most people know that Wayne Gretzky is one of the greatest ever ice hockey players but not many people know that Rod Stewart’s is a professional ice hockey player.

Liam Stewart, the of Rod Stewart and Rachel Hunter, plays for Coventry Blaze in UK’s top ice hockey league. He also plays for the Great Britain ice hockey team, who last weekend were crowned champions of the International Ice Hockey Federation’s Division 1B.

Great Britain are now one league away from the big boys, like Canada, Finland, Sweden, Russia and the US. Though the Stanley Cup is named after a Briton, Lord Stanley of Preston, though Britain once won an ice hockey gold medal in the 1936 Winter Olympics, and though ice hockey is the fifth most popular spectator sport in the country, Britain isn’t an ice hockey force in the world.

British ice hockey teams are dominated by import players, mainly from Canada. As in football and other sports, there’s the perennial debate that import players are denying opportunities to home-grown players. I don’t subscribe to this view. I think the presence of import players raises the standards of ice hockey and of British ice hockey players.

Are you a fan of ice hockey?
Are you a fan of Rod Stewart?
Da ya think I’m sexy?


Ice hockey is one of my favourite sports to watch. It’s much better live than on television; it’s a very fast game. I’ve just realised I’ve blogged a lot about ice hockey - and it is ice hockey because hockey is field hockey! - see my THE NHL LOCKOUT, WHAT HAS CHANGED IN THE WORLD SINCE 1956, A HOCKEY SHOOTOUT and LETS GO PANTHERS posts.

My team Nottingham Panthers didn’t do very well this season. Though they won a European cup, the first time a British team has won such a cup, they didn’t challenge for any domestic honours. But there’s always next season. Let’s go Panthers!

As well as being an avid model railway enthusiast, Rod Stewart - sorry I meant Sir Rod Stewart - has a reputation for his many liaisons with women, mainly models, actresses and wives of other men. Rod Stewart has eight with five different women.

Below are photos of Rod Stewart with Britt Ekland, Alana Hamilton, Kelly Emberg, Rachel Hunter and Penny Lancaster. I think it's clear what he likes and they seem to get bigger with every next liaison!

Some guys have all the puck!









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