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 Welcome to Sexy TIMES!This blog will report various, often random and sometimes dubious thoughts, quirks, observations, trivia, tales, questions, dreams, rants, opinions, truths, musings, stories, lies, hopes, moans, fantasies, etc in the hope of tempting you to get involved. Our mission is to put the facts in the public domain! Please feel free to write a letter to the editor at LETTERS TO THE EDITOR. Back issues of Sexy TIMES are available at INDEX OF BACK ISSUESSexy TIMES editor: spunkycumfun, Esq. Sexy TIMES proprietor: Rupert Murdoch Sexy TIMES executive designer: [blog cherimore] The editor and, of course, the proprietor take no responsibility for accuracy of the content, nor any responsibility for the propriety of how the content was gathered. Otherwise, Sexy TIMES subscribes to the highest ethical standards of journalism. |
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I’M NOT A NESCIENT FUCK; I’M A FANTASTIC FUCK
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Posted:Oct 19, 2016 10:08 am
Last Updated:Nov 16, 2016 9:16 am
63854 Views
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Words is one word and also more than one word! I love rummaging around a dictionary to find new words. Yes, I'm a geek!
Fuck is my most favourite word. It’s a simple but passionate word with many useful but clear meanings.
Here are ten other favourite words.
1. nescience = ignorance
2. popinjay = a vain, foppish or conceited person
3. parvenu = an upstart
4. peccadillo = a minor fault
5. sobriquet = a nickname
6. foible = an eccentricity
7. dilettante = a person taking a superficial interest in something but without any knowledge
8. coquette = a flirtatious woman
9. gongoozling = observing things idly without getting involved, especially on canals
10. verbiage = excessive use of words
Do you have any favourite words? If so, what are your favourites?
Do you have any words or phrases that you over-use?
The word I probably over-use, probably to the extent of losing its meaning when I utter the word, is fantastic!
When wanting to be cruel to someone who is annoying me with their stupidity, I often like to accuse them of displaying considerable nescience. I love the irony of them going to look up the word in a dictionary which merely confirms my accusation. At least that's what I like to think they'll do!
Below is Samuel Johnson's definition of nescience in his 1755 dictionary.
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FROM HOPE TO GROPE
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Posted:Oct 15, 2016 11:16 am
Last Updated:Dec 31, 2016 9:20 am
66542 Views
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Above is the front cover of Private Eye, a British satirical magazine.
What was your last hope?
And when was your last grope?
My hope at the moment is for Trump’s campaign to continue to implode (very likely), for me to take early retirement (likely), for peace to soon break out in Syria (unlikely), for Britain’s vote to leave the European Union to be reversed (very unlikely), and for me to fart (impossible).
My last grope was a few days ago. Pretending to be a deranged, desperate and sex-starved fugitive, I groped my girlfriend while she was cooking a meal. By the way, my groping was a consensual affair! I’ve not groped without consent; in fact, I don’t grope much. Anyway, I prefer to call it caressing; far more romantically sounding!
The last and only time I was groped was at boarding school by a grooming and molesting teacher. His name was Roger Williams.
Below and inside is a random collection of photographs of women. Any link to an egomaniacal groper - sorry, caresser - is purely coincidental!
Melania Trump:
Nancy O'Dell:
Jessica Leeds:
Alicia Machado:
Summer Zervos:
Ivanka Trump:
Arianne Zucker:
Kristin Anderson:
Ivana Trump:
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I LIKE DREAMING IN DENIM
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Posted:Oct 9, 2016 11:37 am
Last Updated:May 1, 2017 10:10 am
70000 Views
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This post is my contribution to the twenty-third virtual symposium magnanimously organised by our new but still supreme cult leader, pocogato12. Please visit pocogato12’s blog to read other contributions to the 'Dreams' virtual symposium.
I don’t dream much or, rather, I don’t remember many of my dreams as experts say we all dream. But how do the experts know we all dream when we are sleeping if we can’t recall the dreams?!
There are a few dreams but, more often, a few fragments of dreams I remember.
One dream that I had when I was much younger was about a frizzy-haired woman wearing a denim jacket who turned up unexpectedly at my Dad’s farm. Over a brick wall we talked and talked. She then beckoned me over the wall where I found that she was topless under her denim jacket.
That was one arousing dream, a dream I keep trying to have again but alas to no avail. I’m still searching for the frizzy-haired woman in a denim jacket - Lady Gaga’s and Madonna’s hair aren’t frizzy enough!
One recurring bad dream I used to have was of a dripping tap (a dripping faucet to my American friends). The drip would get faster and faster but never fast enough to be a continuous flow of water. That dream was very frustrating.
Another recurring but good dream is me flying around the countryside from tree to tree and around cities from building to building. I love this dream but it always ends with me waking up firmly on the ground.
My last dream that I can recall was a sexy dream. I’ll spare the detail as I’m not a good writer of erotica but it involved me giving lots of attention to a certain woman’s breast.
I’d be very happy if that recent dream becomes a recurring dream unless an expert told me that it was a sign of me missing my late Mum!
What was your last dream that you can remember?
I’m not convinced that we can read our dreams. I think there are explanations for our dreams but I’m not sure that humans are capable of explaining them.
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NO TURKISH DELIGHT
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Posted:Oct 7, 2016 1:27 pm
Last Updated:Dec 30, 2016 1:57 pm
65908 Views
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I heard some very shocking news this week as part of my job. I was going to do a blog post about panda bears tonight but panda bears can fucking wait. Instead I'm going to blog about Turkey, the country not the bird!
As a university politics lecturer, I teach a large number of international students on my courses. This academic year, there are students from Azerbaijan, Brazil, Cambodia, Canada, China, Greece, Hong Kong, Hungary, Indonesia, India, Ireland, Israel, Italy, Jamaica, Kazakhstan, Mexico, Nigeria, Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, Serbia, South Sudan, Spain, Sudan, Thailand, Turkey, USA, Venezuela, Vietnam and of course the UK.
It’s like the United Nations but without the conflict. When coming across people from different countries, you realise the differences but you also realise that we have far more in common than we have in difference. We all want to survive and have access to food and clean water; we want shelter and a home; we all want a job to look after our families and friends; we want to feel secure and be respected; and we want to be ourselves however culturally and socially defined.
International students are very important to universities here in the UK and probably elsewhere in the West because they are charged massive fees. International students pay three times that UK/European Union students pay and get exactly the same for their money. They are a cash cow for universities, but yet a target for governments, like the UK’s government, wanting to curb immigration.
Enough of the context; I’ll now cut to the chase. My university has an agreement with the Turkish Ministry of Interior for senior Turkish government officials to come over and study here. In the last ten years the Ministry has sent over 40 civil servants to study here. I’ve just been told that all bar two are now in prison awaiting trial!
There was an attempted coup d'état in Turkey this July. The coup spectacularly failed - another golden rule of politics, if you’re going to have a coup make sure you win otherwise there’ll be terrible reprisals.
After the failed coup, the Turkish President, Recep Erdoğan, ordered a purge of the Turkish state to root out the conspirators and supporters of the coup. That is why nearly all my former Turkish students are in jail.
The increasingly autocratic Turkish President has gone on record as admiring Hitler for running an effective government. Just as he admires Putin, no doubt Trump will admire Erdoğan! Why is the world taking a bad turn towards demagoguery and nationalism?
In Turkey, according to reports, up to 50,000 Turkish people - soldiers, judges, civil servants, university lecturers, school teachers etc - have been rounded up and imprisoned.
Monitors of Amnesty International, an international body dedicated to promoting human rights and protecting the rights of those people opposing tyrannical regimes, aren’t allowed access to Turkey. Amnesty International, after receiving harrowing accounts from sources in Turkey, claim that these people are being imprisoned without charge and without legal representation and that they are being tortured.
These people have no chance of a fair trial - this is Turkey - and if, but more likely when, imprisoned will face appalling conditions - think Midnight Express!
I don’t believe that my former students as civil servants conspired, though they may have supported the ideals behind the coup. The coup was fronted by the military, and almost certainly orchestrated by the Turkish dissident, Fethullah Gülen, holed up in America.
My former students were arrested because they were Western-educated with ideas about democracy, human rights and the rule of law. They were arrested for being liberal in an increasingly illiberal state. And I feel a little responsible!
Do you like Turkish Delight?
What do you do when you’re powerless to change things?
I feel totally powerless with this situation. I’d love to go to Turkey and campaign for the release of my former students. But I realise that my intervention may be counter-productive.
I feel totally powerless because I can’t raise this issue here with any expectation that the UK government will take it seriously. The West is dependent on Turkey as an ally in its proclaimed war against terrorism and as an ally against Russian power.
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TOOLS ARE DANGEROUS
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Posted:Oct 5, 2016 10:20 am
Last Updated:Nov 3, 2016 8:23 am
60125 Views
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I’ve been told that I’m not very handy with my tools. Though not normally accident-prone, accidents always happen when I get my tools out. I just don’t know what I do wrong.
I get my toolbox out and carefully select the appropriate tool. But every time I use a tool it hurts. Sometimes it feels like torture!
I’ve been told that it’s because I use my tools naked but If I’m not naked I can’t use my tools. It’s a Catch-22!
How handy are you with tools?
What’s your favourite tool?
Seriously, I’m not at all handy with tools. I can use a screwdriver, though I’m better at screwing than screwdrivering! I’ve used a spanner, a hammer and even a pair of pliers, but I’ve never used a drill.
I always get other people to handle my tools!
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EDGING TO THE EDGE
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Posted:Oct 3, 2016 11:36 am
Last Updated:Nov 15, 2016 10:21 am
63464 Views
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Edging, also called peaking or surfing, is all about orgasm control. According to Wikipedia, it is "a sexual technique which may be practiced either alone or with a partner and involves the maintenance of a high level of sexual arousal for an extended period of time without reaching orgasm."
The practice of edging was originally developed by the American urologist, James Semans - there’s a definite irony in his surname - as a way to remedy premature ejaculation amongst men.
Despite the frustration, edging often leads to a more intense orgasm. It’s a form of sexual teasing. Edging is erotic sexual denial. Tantric sex also involves edging.
Probably the ultimate in edging is a technique called coitus reservatus, where orgasm is denied for weeks or even months at a time.
Do you like edging or being edged?
Have you ever practiced coitus reservatus?
I love edging and being edged, though my girlfriend calls me horrible names if I start edging when we have sex. So I don’t edge too much with her. The only edging I do now is in my garden.
I went through nearly 12 years practicing coitus reservatus that is until I first started masturbating in the dorms at boarding school.
Inside is a photograph of the best edger in town!
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LAST LINES
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Posted:Sep 30, 2016 10:56 am
Last Updated:Oct 8, 2016 1:01 pm
63415 Views
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My last blog post, 'I’ll show you mine if you show me yours', has mysteriously disappeared. It’s just vanished!
Below are some infamous last lines of famous people uttered just before their death.
1. "Leave me alone - I’m fine." (Barry White, singer/songwriter)
2. "Either this wallpaper goes, or I do." (Oscar Wilde, author)
3. "I’m sorry boys, I’m all wet." (Gracie Allen, wife of George Burns)
4. "Am I dying or is this my birthday?" (Lady Nancy Astor, politician)
5. "The car seems okay." (Ayrton Senna, racing driver)
6. "I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis." (Humphrey Bogart, actor)
7. "That was the best ice-cream soda I ever tasted." (Lou Costello, comedian)
8. "I’ve never felt better." (Douglas Fairbanks Sr, actor)
9. "Surprise me." (Bob Hope, actor/comedian)
10. "I’ve had eighteen straight whiskies, I think that’s the record." (Dylan Thomas, poet)
11. "Get my swan costume ready." (Anna Pavlova, ballerina)
12. "Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow." (Steve Jobs, Apple co-founder)
13. "Now comes the mystery." (Henry Beecher, medical research scientist)
14. "I’m bored with it all." (Winston Churchill, politician)
15. "I feel ill. Call the doctors." (Mao Zedung, politician)
16. "I don’t feel good." (Luther Burbank, botanist)
17. "I am just going outside. I may be some time." (Captain Oates, Antarctic explorer)
18. "Now I shall go to sleep. Goodnight." (Lord Byron, poet)
19. "Take away those pillows. I shall need them no more." (Lewis Carroll, author)
20. "Hello." (Graham Chapman, Monty Python comedian)
21. "If you don’t like it, you can fuck off." (Keith Moon, The Who’s drummer)
22. "Doctor, do you think it could have been the sausage?" (Paul Claudel, poet)
23. "Oh, what’s the bloody point?" (Kenneth Williams, Carry On actor)
24. "That was a great game of golf, fellers." (Bing Crosby, singer)
25. "Die, my dear? Why, that’s the last thing I’ll do." (Groucho Marx, comedian)
26. "I’m losing." (Frank Sinatra, singer)
27. "Relax - this won’t hurt." (Hunter S Thompson, journalist)
28. "I should have drunk more champagne." (John Maynard Keynes, economist)
29. "I believe we should adjourn this meeting to another place." (Adam Smith, economist)
30. "Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven’t said enough." (Karl Marx, economist)
31. "Build a wall around my grave." (Donald Trump, failing politician)
What was your last line said before reading this post?
My last line was, "I’m a fugitive", said to my girlfriend. I made the local newspaper yesterday. I forgot to pay a fine for dropping a cigarette end on the street a while back. What would have been a £50 on-the-spot fine has now escalated into a £900 court fine all because I forgot to deal with my post. I’m now on the run from the courts!
Inside is a photograph of the gravestone of Spike Milligan, a comedian. In Gaelic, his epitaph reads 'I told you I was ill'!
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I’LL SHOW YOU MINE IF YOU SHOW ME YOURS
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Posted:Sep 26, 2016 11:36 am
Last Updated:Oct 5, 2016 9:33 am
64722 Views
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My girlfriend’s grandson, aged four, has just started school. Last week, after he came home from school his Mum found that he had his pants inside-out. She asked him why his pants weren’t the right way round.
After a while, he explained that he went into a toilet cubicle with a girl. It’s not clear who suggested this. But inside the cubicle they took their clothes off and kissed. After the kiss he put his pants on inside-out.
His Mum was not happy and phoned to berate the teachers for their negligence in allowing two young to go to the toilet without being escorted. My girlfriend asked me what I would have done. I just said that are and it wasn’t a big deal.
My girlfriend said that this wasn’t normal behaviour for four year-old . As I’ve never had , I’m no expert. But I assumed that it wasn’t sexual and that her grandson’s Mum over-reacted. My girlfriend thought otherwise.
I’m aware that are sexualised younger than in my day but I’d be slightly shocked that are sexualised at this young age.
How do you read this situation?
Have you done the ‘I’ll show you mine if you show me yours’ routine?
If I show you mine will you show me yours?
Mine is shown inside; it was once described as "a victory for feminism". I hope to see yours inside!
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40
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I SURVIVED WITCHING HOUR
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Posted:Sep 23, 2016 12:11 pm
Last Updated:Oct 5, 2016 9:33 am
65896 Views
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Now time has passed, I can now tell you about my experiences of witching hour. Many years ago and in a different city, my lodger always turned into a witch after midnight.
Late at night she would often ask me for a walk along the seafront. I enjoyed these walks even though I was subject to her merciless teasing about my body, personality, intelligence, behaviour and my very existence. It was very funny! For some reason I enjoy people taking the piss out of me; I take it as a compliment in that they can bothered to insult me!
In 1484 Pope Innocent VIII - what a contradictory title! - appointed witch-hunters to quash the spread of witchcraft in Germany. This led to the spread of witch-hunters being appointed throughout Europe and latterly America - 19 'witches' were executed in New England following the Salem witch trials in the late seventeenth century.
Any woman accused of being a witch was invariably executed. If the woman confessed, she was a witch; and if she didn’t confess, she was tortured until she confessed to being a witch! Catch-22!
In mid-seventeenth century, Matthew Hopkins was the self-styled Witchfinder General in England. Witchfinders were paid for every 'witch' they found which no doubt explains why they found a lot! In Newcastle, one Scottish witchfinder was paid 20 shillings for each 'witch' hanged; this is partly why one of the stands of Newcastle United’s football ground is called the Gallowgate End.
Matthew Hopkins wrote a pamphlet, The Discovery of Witches, in which he claimed he could identify a witch without torturing a confession out of her - see the image below. His methods of witchfinding didn’t seem torture-free to me. Women accused of being witches were often dunked in water - if they drowned, they weren’t witches; and if they didn’t drown, they were witches. Catch-22 again!
There's a point - well, I think there may be at least three points - to this historical post. First, the lengths men have gone to control women are incredible, incredibly bad. Second, torture doesn’t work - no information gleaned from torture can be regarded as reliable. Third, never let profit-driven private companies provide public services because they have a financial incentive to exacerbate the problems they're supposed to solve in the pursuit of profit.
How much do you like being teased?
Do you believe in the witching hour?
Do you think we can learn from studying history?
Henry Ford once said "history is more or less bunk". Though he (and let's not forget his workers) could make a great car for the masses, Henry Ford was wrong about history. Though disputed, history is a mirror through which we can have a close look at ourselves. History makes us more aware of ourselves.
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PIMPING KINKY
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Posted:Sep 21, 2016 9:01 am
Last Updated:Dec 27, 2021 9:19 am
73198 Views
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It’s my duty and indeed pleasure to Miss Kinky, also known as [blog kinkyfem73], who granted me a no holes barred interview - sorry about the typo!
Before the interview, and for reasons of research, I hired a private detective to investigate Miss Kinky’s life. The detective’s secret dossier was fulsome, revealing and even shocking. He recommended 21 questions to be put to Miss Kinky.
Below are Miss Kinky’s verbatim answers to the questions. I hope you can understand her Canadian accent!
1. Sex! Sex! Sex! Are you thinking about sex right now?
Yes I am actually! Fall makes me hornier~ don't ask me why. So sex crosses my mind more often this time of year.
2. What’s the best thing about this site?
Thats a toss up between the blogs and meeting people. I've met some great people from here, alot whom I consider very good friends. Theres also a few bloggers that I hope I get the chance to meet one day~ your sexy self included!
3. What’s the worst thing about this site?
Same answer Spunky LOL. Its a toss up between the blogs and meeting people. I've had the misfortune of meeting some real losers from here.... Likewise with the blogs, it seems lately some are only here to cause problems.
4. What has been the best experience as a result of being a member of this site?
This may be hard to believe but when I joined 5 years ago my self esteem was pretty low. Part of that stems from being judged by former partners when I opened up about my 'likes'. I joined the site and found tons of people who had the same likes. It was a great experience to be able to talk openly about things and not be judged!! It was then that my self esteem grew....and grew.... If you'd have told me 5 years ago that I'd be posting pics like I do for HNW, I'd have laughed my head off. But I enjoy posting them now, and that too has helped boost my self esteem.
5. What has been the worst experience as a result of being a member of this site?
Getting into too much detail about this is quite painful. Lets just say that I met a 'man' from here who became quite possessive and after a short period of time the RCMP [the Mounties] were involved.
6. How kinky can you go?
Kinky is a relative term. Whats kinky to you might be very vanilla for me and vice versa. Its no secret that I enjoy most aspects of BDSM and D/s, and that I have very few limits where those are concerned. How kinky can I go? ~laughs~ well leave out anything that has to do with , animals, blood, scat, or asphyxiation.... other than that I'm good to go. 
7. How kinky have you gone?
How kinky have I gone....thats a tough one without actually writing a list of things I've done....but to answer this that might be easiest. I've had many many threesomes and moresomes, in every configuration. From FFF to MMF, MFM, FFM, FMF, MMMF, MMMFF.....we often go to a local lifestyle club and end up in the playroom surrounded by others, I wouldn't call it an orgy exactly but its dam fun! In that same club I've been on the St. Andrews cross in a room full of people watching as a local Dom and I have some fun. I enjoy wax play, temperature play, food play, cum play, orgasm denial, forced orgasm, bondage, toys, spanking, impact play, pegging, and one that I recently tried and LOVED, knife play. Have I done everything listed? Yes I have.
8. Is it true that you have taken out many patents for kinky sex techniques with the United Nations’ World Intellectual Property Organisation?
Yes Spunky it is but my legal advisor prefers I don't discuss them.
9. Is it true that Canadian cocks are bigger than American cocks?
Well in all honesty I've only had sex with 2 American men so I can't say, but I'm more than willing to test that theory out!!
10. Is it true that Canadian men like licking native beavers?
Native beavers or natural beavers? Theres a difference lol.
11. What did you say to the local power company when it found that an outage/power-cut was caused by your over-consumption of electricity while vigorously playing with your vibrators?
I told them they should send a man over to see for himself if it was in fact due to my toys!!
12. Is it true that Donald Trump has a small cock?
Spunky I don't kiss and tell. But I will say that he uses what little he has, very well! May I also say that the man I'm really curious about is Bill Clinton. He seems a bit on the kinky side.
13. What is your favourite film/movie?
Pretty Woman.
14. What is your favourite song?
Dark by Katy Perry. Theres something about that song that just fits me, its even the ringtone on my phone!
15. Who is your favourite actor/actress?
Actor~ Sean Connery!!! That mans voice makes me instantly horny!
Actress~ Julia Roberts. Shes soooo sexy.
16. Is there such a thing as too much cock?
ummmmmm NO!
17. Do you feel proud that seismologists discovered that your bedroom was once the epicentre of an earthquake, measuring 6.0 on the Richter scale, in your local area?
Fuck yeah!!!! Who wouldn't be proud of that?!?! Next is to see if we can get it higher than 6.0.
18. As a Canadian, can you confirm the story that the Royal Canadian Mounted Police are called Mounties not because they ride horses but because they mount horses from behind?
Ummmm no Spunky I can't confirm that. In my past experience though I can confirm that he did like mounting me from behind. Ahhhhh memories....
19. Now Barack Obama is about to leave office, can you tell us what your threesome was like with Barack and Michelle Obama in the White House?
Barack was a bit of a prude but Michelle is an absolute FREAK in the sheets!! The things that woman can do with her tongue!!
20. If you had a choice between granting peace throughout the world and never having an orgasm again or having many orgasms in a permanently war-torn world, what would you choose?
My answer here may cause some waves but what the hell lol. I honestly don't see things ever changing Spunky.... its been this way for hundreds of years. So I might as well be having orgasms. Plus if I was going without orgasms I'd be awfully cranky and that could very well cause problems haha!
21. Do I have your informed consent to you and your blog and keep a 10 per cent cut of any earnings from my pimping activities?
10% plus I get to give you a BJ? Do we have a deal?
Miss Kinky has agreed to answer questions that people want to put to her after reading her answers to my questions. The only exception is that she won’t elaborate on her answer to question five which is off-limits for questions.
Should I accept Miss Kinky’s offer of a blowjob for being her ?
Do you have any questions for Miss Kinky?
It would seem rude to turn down a blowjob from Miss Kinky though I may charge!
Since I’m now Miss Kinky’s official , all members wanting to get in touch with Miss Kinky must communicate with me. Any direct contact with Miss Kinky will be regarded as a breach of the site’s terms of use and, moreover, a breach of contract that will result in vigorous legal action being taken.
As [blog kinkyfem73]’s , there are a range of activities shown below which I can arrange for you to enjoy with Miss Kinky. Obviously there’s a fee, an introduction fee, for such services!
What activities would you like to enjoy with Miss Kinky?
Miss Kinky is one of the stars of blogland. While many bloggers, including myself, fret about the site’s many glitches, who’s fucking who, why men are stupid, who’s the top blogger and who’s arguing with whom, Miss Kinky just gets on with running a brilliant and sexy blog.
On her blog she flashes her legs, her cleavage and even her breasts but she’s never flashed her pussy … that is, until now! Inside is the premiere flash of Miss Kinky’s pussy.
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HOTEL ANTARCTICA
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Posted:Sep 19, 2016 12:14 pm
Last Updated:Apr 4, 2017 10:44 am
64944 Views
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Welcome to the Hotel Antarctica
Such a lovely place (Such a lovely place)
Such a lovely face
Plenty of room at the Hotel Antarctica
Five weeks a year (Five weeks a year)
You can find it here
A luxury hotel, comprising eight pods, has recently been opened in Antarctica. The White Desert hotel is only open for five weeks a year during the summer months of November and December.
A week’s stay at the hotel costs £54,000, but that price includes everything. The hotel only has room for 12 guests at a time. Prince Harry, Bear Grylls and members of the Saudi royal family have already stayed at the hotel. Meals are prepared by Justine Lindsay, Lewis Hamilton’s personal chef - Lewis Hamilton, allegedly, is a top Formula One racer.
Though there is 24-hour sunlight, the average temperature outside the pod is minus 5C. That's quite cold for a desert!
Entertainment is limited. It involves finding penguins, looking at penguins, painting penguins, eating penguins and fucking penguins! However, partaking in all these activities is free.
If money’s no object, would you stay at the White Desert hotel in Antarctica?
How do you like your penguin cooked?
Though I love penguins, I want my penguin well done on my plate!
STOP PRESS. pocogato12 is making a laudable attempt to rescue the virtual symposia while humorlife is sampling life in the Antarctic; presumably he’s fallen madly in love with an emperor penguin!
For those interested in keeping the virtual symposia going, please go to pocogato12’s Symposium October blog post to register your interest.
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SEX KILLS
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Posted:Sep 17, 2016 11:05 am
Last Updated:Oct 5, 2016 9:32 am
58391 Views
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Researchers from Michigan State University analysed the sexual behaviour and medical records of 2,204 people aged from 57 to 90. They found that older men who have a sex life are far more likely to suffer a heart attack.
The researchers believed the mix of athletic exertion, mental strain and chemical assistance required to remain sexually active takes their toll in older men’s cardiac health. They have recommended doctors to warn their elderly male patients of the perils of having sex.
The same research found that older women are less likely to have a heart attack if sexually active. It’s tough being a man; not only do we die younger than women, if we have sex, we die even younger than women who have sex!
If your doctor advised you to stop having sex, would you stop?
I always thought sex was healthy but I decided that last night was to be the last time I had sex. I do want to live for a little bit longer. I did record last night's act of sex for posterity!
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I HAVE FEELINGS FOR A TREE AND THE TREE HAS FEELINGS FOR ME!
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Posted:Sep 14, 2016 1:52 pm
Last Updated:Oct 5, 2016 9:31 am
61348 Views
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baobab trees:
thorn acacia tree:
beech tree:
Like most people, I love trees. There’s no such thing as a bad tree. My favourite tree is the baobab tree, sometimes known as the upside-down tree, found in parts of Africa and Australia. What a brilliant tree!
In his book The Hidden Life of Trees, published in 2015 and an international bestseller with over 500,000 copies sold, Peter Wollheben claims trees have feelings and can communicate with each other. The author looks after a forest, containing many very old trees, near Cologne in Germany, so he knows his trees!
After reviewing scientific evidence, Peter Wollheben claims that trees live in communities to look out for each other. He argues that trees communicate with each other, share food with their own species, warn each other of danger, nurture younger trees, feel pain and even scream.
Scientists have found that thorn acacia trees when being nibbled on by giraffes emit a toxic warning gas, ethylene, which stops giraffes nibbling their leaves and, moreover, warns other nearby thorn acacia trees to start pumping out the gas to protect them from this impending danger.
One scientist, Dr Suzanne Simard, claims that trees have maternal instincts. Older beech trees keep check on the growth of younger beech trees.
Other scientists have found that beech, spruce and oak trees feel pain when their leaves are eating their leaves. They have found that tree leaves on being nibbled send out electrical signals that travel at a third of an inch per minute.
Scientists from the Swiss Federal Institute for Forest, Snow and Landscape Research claim that trees scream, for example, when thirsty.
Do you think trees communicate with each other?
Do trees have feelings?
Have you ever hugged a tree?
Below are photos showing my deepening and blossoming relationship with one certain tree. The tree that I now love makes eyes at me, kisses me and even rides a bike to court me!
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