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| Thank you for taking the time to visit my world - my life journey in words. I invite you to follow along with me as I life each day fully, with no pretentions. What you will find here is a sharing of my innermost thoughts, my happiness, my frustrations, my sadness, my fears, my oddities, and, so much more. I am quite happy with who and what I am, as my life is ever so blessed. Like all of us, I have many different sides. I don't feel the need to justify myself to anyone, not in the slightest. While I am not everyone's cup of tea, common courtesy and respect is expected, not only to myself, but also all others who may share their views/experiences on my page. There is no tolerance for judgments or drama here - the practice of FUCKTARDISM is strongly prohibited. As the saying goes, "Misery Luves Company". If this is YOU, please take your circus elsewhere, as I only allow good, healthy stuff into my life.  |
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Quote Of The Day: 11-11-20
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Posted:Nov 11, 2020 2:34 pm
Last Updated:Nov 13, 2020 3:17 pm
5567 Views
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"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born" - Anaïs Nin
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Quote Of The Day: 11-8-20
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Posted:Nov 8, 2020 10:50 am
Last Updated:Nov 12, 2020 4:10 am
5645 Views
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"If I ever get to meet Vladimir Putin, I will probably take my top off and challenge him to an erotically charged wrestling match, which I will let him win" - Unknown
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Quote Of The Day: 11-7-20
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Posted:Nov 7, 2020 2:07 pm
Last Updated:Nov 9, 2020 7:01 pm
5598 Views
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"The real luver is the man who can thrill you just touching your head or smiling into your eyes - or just staring into space" - Marilyn Monroe
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Cemetery Obsessed ...
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Posted:Nov 5, 2020 6:36 pm
Last Updated:Nov 12, 2020 4:13 am
6378 Views
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For the last 5 months, I've been driving 90 minutes there once a week ...
I've been doing a smudging cleansing of my moms area in the mausoleum - dispelling the negativity that was brought there my last situation ... continually trying rid myself of the damage that was done my mind, body, soul, spirit and heart, replacing it with good stuff. As I walk in circles, back and forth, the smoke lingers. I wonder myself, perhaps the other souls would like some good energy, some healing. I send some kind vibes their way - just in case ...
The last time I went was two weeks ago, at which time I missed her so much ... I wanted so badly be with her. I had thoughts of driving off the road just so that I could hug her. Then I thought myself, she would absolutely go ballistic if I did something so - her had already pretty much taken his own life years ago ... she couldn't even bring herself go the cemetery. I couldn't be that cruel her ...
Then, I moved onto my grandfather and brother's grave ... which, in my state of mind, was an extremely bad idea, again, as usual, as my past with them is completely toxic ... another cleansing ...
On the way home, I ended up driving my brothers house, and the doctor I was forced to go to at my last situation, as "the warden" didn't like the one I had for over years. Missed my exit a million times - that area just wouldn't let go of me - took me over 2 hours to get out of that clusterfuck - it should have been bout 45 minutes ...
"Life Happened" thru no fault of my primary partner of plus years, or mine, and that was used mentally manipulate me. Then, "life happened" again and we were brought back together, which is where I went instead of my apartment ... I knew being myself that nite was absolutely not a good idea. the time I arrived, I was in bad shape. He just couldn't calm me down ... I just keep saying over and over how much I missed my mom and wanted be with her. I settled down after bout 4 hours ...
Three days later, I was compelled go again. And, I did ...
After the fact, it was at the point, that my primary told me that I'm totally obsessed with going there. At first I was like "no, that's not true". He reminded me of what happened a few days earlier and how despite the unhealthiness of it, I went back again in the same week ...
I do like my reflection in this uninhabited grassy section - my long sweater flowing out into the lite breeze... hair in pigtails in my moms memory, as my mom said a million times over - especially when living with me ... "when are you going to stop wearing those" ... 5 years later with pigtails still intact. I for sure wonder how long it will be until another soul resides here. Weird how I mite be standing on someone's grave before they are under it ... strangely, I'll always feel an odd connection to this spot ...
I was strongly considering going tomorrow ... tho, the Universe is making it's thoughts and presence known. Even when I don't want to listen to the Great Spirit, or perhaps agree, I keep the faith ... and, this too, shall pass ...
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Quote Of The Day: 11-4-20
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Posted:Nov 4, 2020 3:23 pm
Last Updated:Nov 12, 2020 4:15 am
5580 Views
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She holds his stem,
and her heart throbs hard.
He sucks her tongue softly,
feeling ecstatic dizziness...
Bai Xingjian
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Halloween Aftermath ... :)
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Posted:Nov 3, 2020 6:38 pm
Last Updated:Nov 4, 2020 3:09 pm
6424 Views
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WOW – what an stellar time!! 😊
There was a lot to be done before family arrived, as well as the trick or treaters. My list was long – a pen ready to check things off as I accomplished them = OCD and ADD in constant debate … LOL … 😊
Four loads of firewood loaded onto wheelbarrow and then unloaded at fire pit. Set up paper products and plastic utensils. Trash/recycle receptacles set up outside. Batteries in some of the mechanical thingys - I even used a screwdriver successfully – HA! Stocked alcohol table = super important – LOL … and, regular drinks. Munchies and finger food set up. Stock bathrooms with essentials. Set up candy table - open all bags and put in the boxes. Then, a last-minute trip to the alcohol store. And then some … 😊
My boss cooked up a storm = kitchen was a hot fucking mess = clean and mop … LOL … everyone brought a yummy to share for the food table. And, of course, more alcohol … 😊
As I was finishing up, people started to arrive. I knew pretty much no one, some introduced themselves to me, and, some, I introduced myself too. They were like, “we heard so much good stuff bout you”, which make me feel really good! And, with my sparkling personality, I made an immediate impression … HA! 😊
Finally got into my outfit, jetted out to my post, just in time, wine kewler in hand. Music was going – Monster Mash – LOL – who doesn’t luv this song?! And, of course, the soundtrack has all spooky stuff and it was blasting on the huge speakers surrounding the outside of the house. And, the fog machines were most awesomeness!! The mechanical stuff was in full force – the traffic coming to a stand still. People were taking pictures and trying to get behind the caution tape (which was up for everyone’s safety), thanking us, as there were only a few houses giving out goodies, as well as being decorated. The kiddies were awesome – a few were dressed similar to me … one of them complimented my skull hair clips … LOL … there was an adorable family with four boys, all dressed as cops, raging in age from like 6 to 12. Lots of witches and princesses, and spiderman. A few of the were scared and already in tears, and, I did my best to make them feel at ease. So, my candy table partner and I noticed a person walking off to the side, with what looked like a big box round them. As they got closer, he said, “oh, it’s a card table”. I’m like … “uuummm, no, don’t you see the plastic dome on her head?!” … LOL … it only took me a few more seconds to identify – she was one of those machine fortune tellers that you used to see on the boardwalks and stuff = the most original costume … 😊
After lites out for the treat or treaters, we all just out, the firepit up and running, ate some more! My waistline is still mad at me! The bottle of Whiskey came out … ironically enuf, a few days ago I posted how I never did a shot of this. So … ya … my horizons continue to be expanding. My boss was like, “ready for this?!”. Uuummm, ya, not really … LOL … and a grabbed a paper cup. It was fucking disgusting! Not sure which was worse – this or the Moonshine I had with them! Item checked off the “do to” list that wasn’t even on it … 😊
As people started to filter out, I cleaned up = this entire family is a hot fucking mess … LOL … = adore them! Then, I hung out for a bit before heading home – and they gave me pasta and meatsauce leftovers to take home … 😊
So, when I got to my car, put my seatbelt on, turned on my I-POD, and, I’m ready to bounce. Looking out my driver’s side mirror to make sure it was okies to go … something is wrong with this picture. I get out and the mirror is turned round like Linda Blair’s head in The Exorcist – pieces of jagged glass hanging … 
I was like, seriously, what the fuck, this is not kewl … I just worked 10.5 hours and it’s going to cost me way more that I just made to fix it. Tho, by the time I got home, I was over it, as I had such an great time!! 😊
Like all functions, I always text so they know I made I home safely. Sent a pic of the mirror … “This was my driver’s side mirror when I got to my car tonite … LOL … apparently, someone can’t drive … GGGRRR … I’d be more upset if I didn’t have such a great time … LOL … had a blast! Your family is awesomeness and made me feel very welcome! 😊
This is what I got back: “You were awesome all day and shined very bright. I truly appreciate all you do for me and the family. Your loyalty shows in that you gave up your holiday to be with my family and help us and had a great time doing so. Please get a quote for the mirror and I will be more than happy to pay for the repairs” ... I had to reread that a few times ...
I’m so overwhelmed by the graciousness of this offer, completely speechless, as words could never express my gratitude for such an act of kindness. I just keep working hard for them, and, in return, they take very good care of me … 😊
Making mistakes along my journey, learning from them, doing my best to live the best life I can … 😊
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8
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Quote Of The Day: 11-3-20
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Posted:Nov 3, 2020 2:11 pm
Last Updated:Nov 4, 2020 2:49 pm
5407 Views
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"The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall" - Ralph Waldo Emerson
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To link to this blog (trixietrixster) use [blog trixietrixster] in your messages.
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