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Men: How To Take A Shit!
Men: How To Take A Shit!
1. Select reading material.
2. Tell everyone along the way, "Just going for a dump, okay?" Always tell girlfriend/wife, especially when she has visitors.
3. Pull pants and trousers around ankles, then sit down.
4. Adjust penis and testicles to hang comfortably without touching the toilet rim.
5. Open reading material and relax.
6. Whilst waiting, it is traditional to audibly fart.
7. Sigh loudly as the first one bullets out. It is quite normal to experience a cold jet of water rocket up your anus as a result of the first bomb.
8. Remain sitting and reading until pins-and-needles set in to your legs and buttocks. When done stand up Taking long length of paper and wipe anus. You must look at the paper before throwing it into the pan.
9. Wipe until there is no longer any evidence of shit on the paper. If there is any residue left on the pan, under no circumstances attempt to clean it off, leave it for someone else to do.
10. Rise and look at the poo. Make mental notes of irregularities to report to friends and girlfriend/wife.
11. Wash your hands and Flush, and be sure to leave the seat up. Leave also the reading material on the floor (you can use it again later).
12. Vacate the bathroom, leaving the door open. It is important to a man's self-esteem that other people smell his produce. |
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Gee now I know how to do it right. | ||
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for the instructions. |
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