We’re a Down-to-Earth couple in search of complimentary playmates: Nudist Buddhists, Travelling Anarchists, Outlaw Nuns, Jack Mormon Girls, Zombie Motorcycle Gangs. The usual. We’re always open to new and different experiences and possibilities, but are perfectly content with group playtime and fun-filled clusterfucking. Wait. Is that a thing? Why, yes, boys and girls. It is a thing. So it helps if you do a little Yoga. And while we don’t mind a DTF, one-night stand, at this point we’re looking for some friends who might like to dig a little deeper. A weekend away. A bonfire campout. A regular friendly game of Cards Against Humanity. Maybe even a 5k. Because first and foremost, we’re family folk, and we need to keep it that way. We can’t host, make last-minute plans, or hang out with people who over-indulge. We can’t even stay out that late – the Babysitter gets paid by the hour. If you want to party all night, that’s great. Let us know how it went. We’d rather meet for a drink, get down and dirty, and get home in time to watch The Walking Dead.

My Ideal Person First and foremost: People with the good common sense to include pics. If we can't see you, we're not interested. If you're a couple, we expect to see two different people.

We like people who are fun, intelligent, compassionate and who will spark our curiosity - and also fuck us silly. We prefer couples but are happy to meet SELECT singles. Boys: writing and saying you have a hard cock DOES NOT make you a select single! Writing and saying your hard cock is the result of a bizarre ritual you experienced while living with an Amazon tribe for 5 years MIGHT!! Also, we won't respond to an introductory photo of your dick. Include a face pic, please. And for the love of God, clean those fingernails. I will literally throw you into traffic if you show up with dirty fingernails. What's up with that? Seriously? Girls: Um... Yeah. So everyone on this site is looking for the hot female who wants to play, but I'm going to tell you all something for free: They don't exist. Any hot gal worth her salt already has something fun going on. But good luck. You might as well be searching for a Swinger Unicorn. But hey. If there are any hot Swinger Unicorns out there, hit us up.

We love toys, Gangbangs, dirty messages, texts and fuck pics. She has a preference for Black & Latino guys and loves a good sword fight, so boys, if you're nervous about crossing swords, keep moving, and couples: if DP makes either of you nervous in any way, we may not be the couple for you.

With the right people anything can happen...

We aren't ashamed of our lifestyle but we're not advertising it either, so discretion is a must.

If you've made it this far, you've passed our required basic reading aptitude and intelligence test.

Congratulations.

See you at the prom, you perverted f*ckers (and we wouldn't want you any other way)!!!!

What are your favorite musicians or bands?:
Cocteau Twins, Fatboy Slim, Radiohead, Sex Pistols, Hooverphonic, Mazzy Star, Dead Can Dance

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